Starting over and doing it right this time.

I have just spent the better part of the evening going back and looking at this blog. I started it in 2007 while so much is different so much is still the same. On my last post I had gotten off caffeine and lost 7 pounds. Tonight as I write this I have probably gained 10 pounds since the last post. I had gotten back on my Diet Cokes and actually just gave up caffeine Again 6 days ago. But what about the things that are truly important? God is doing some pretty amazing things in my life right now and I am so thankful. No, he hasn't blessed me with a bigger house, a million dollars, paid off all my debt or anything along those lines BUT he has allowed me the opportunity to get involved in youth ministry at our church. My story of how I got from where I started to where I am is such a funny one to me. It is a story full of dragging feet, stomping and saying No I WON'T until eventually I said yes I will and am so thankful that I did. You see, I was brought up in a Christian home. My mom made sure to drag my butt to church twice on Sundays and every Wednesday. In fact, the church that I went to was so small that we had the youth services in my house. My bedroom was the nursery. My mom made sure that I had biblical doctrine at a very early age and I am so incredibly thankful for that. It would provide very helpful when later on my life got crazy! My parents abandoned me in a sense as they struggled with alcoholism but I knew that God was always there. He was there when my mom forgot to pick me up from the bus stop because she was to drunk. He was there when not one but two fathers abandoned me and left me wondering what was wrong with me. He was there when my mom get sent to inpatient rehab and I got sent to live with family friends. He has always been there. Fast forward several years. My mom is now sober and has been for about 20 years. My real father-we are still praying for him to overcome his addiction. I married a man who at the time wasn't a Christ follower, we packed up our bags and moved to TN (sounds like the Beverly Hillbillies doesn't it?) We have three amazing boys that delight my heart every day. Some days I look at them and bust into tears that God entrusted them to me. We moved to Smyrna after about 4 years in Nashville. Our next door neighbors Kelly and Tim Watson and Sharon Sanqueza invited us to church. We started going to a church called Smyrna First Baptist. We attended this church for many years-probably about 10. That was all we did though was attend. Volunteering was something people who didn't work outside of the home did (that was my thought at the time) I was so bitter about already having to be at work 8 hours a day away from my kids I wasn't about to volunteer the free time I did have at church. I joined a group called God's Girls and met an amazing duo by the name of Natalie Wilson and Sherri Owenby. These two ladies inspired me to want to be like them. The light of Christ literally seeps out of their pores. They are amazing. Unfortunately I wanted to be like them but didn't want to have to do the work to be like them. I didn't want to give up my time to study Gods word (Remember, I am a working mother so I am already struggling to find enough hours in the day to get everything done. There was no way I was going to sit down and read the bible- a book that I probably couldn't understand anyhow) I continued to go to church and was proud to let anyone and everyone know that my family went to Smyrna First Baptist. We were obviously good people and good parents because we went to church and were raising our kids in church. I wanted to make sure everyone knew that we were doing life right. But boy was I WRONG. Trey my oldest son started going to the Creek with a friend of his on Wednesday nights. He met a man named R.C. Ford. To be quite honest I got a little tired of hearing the name R.C. around my house. I almost started tuning out when I heard R.C. did this or R.C. said that. I wanted Trey to come to his father and I for everything. Little did I know how what an impact those two initials R.C. would have on our families life. R.C. truly invested in Trey. He would come and get him on the weekends and take him to do things. He made Trey feel welcome in his home and comfortable with him. Then he started teaching Trey. He started sharing the word of God with Trey and encouraging Trey to spend time in God's word and not just listen to it. Soon Trey was coming home and having conversations that were biblically above my head. I figured it was time to check out the Creek and this R.C fellow. We tried the Creek on a Sunday morning and all 5 of us fell in love with it. Conner felt more comfortable there, Trey loved it, Tyler was to young to have an opinion and Mike and I liked it because the kids did. After all, going to church was really just for the kids to learn about God-right? Oh, so many times on this adventure I have been so wrong. A co-worker of mine Suzanne Budke attended the Creek. She volunteered my name to a lady by the name of Heidi Binder who called me to see if I would be interested in serving. I couldn't believe that someone would volunteer my name. Don't these people know that I work full time and I DON'T have the time to volunteer? Lucky for me Trey was already volunteering in the age group that Heidi needed me to volunteer in. Yes that's right, my son was volunteering but not his parents. You see R.C. had taught him well and somewhere along the way Trey was getting more things right than Mike and I were. They weren't going to let me off the hook that easily. They just so happened to have a need in the nursery. I said I would be willing to do that (only because I have trouble saying no and I was on the hook here)Then they told me they wanted a 1 year commitment. Are these people crazy? They want me to go from doing nothing to committing for a whole year? I remember telling the volunteer coordinator that I wasn't so sure about a 1 year commitment. She kept asking me what I was afraid of and I explained that the lack of having time for everything was something I struggled with. Geez people, I said yes isn't that enough? But luckily for me it wasn't. I convinced my husband to serve with me. We started going to church and serving first hour and then going home. You see, as I mentioned before time is a strong hold for me. I would go and serve but I wasn't going to stay for second service that would take another hour and a half out of my Sunday. No thank you. I would serve and go home. Serve, check it off the list, make sure that people knew I was serving so they could tell me what a good Christian I was and then go home. This worked out well for a couple of months until that R.C guy I mentioned sent me a nice little email. I can't recall the entire contents of it but basically it said that Trey was serving first hour and while that was very important it was also very important for Trey to stay for service. R.C. went on to ask why Trey wasn't staying for service, did he have transportation issues or was there something that was keeping him from staying? I can remember it like it was yesterday. I went home madder than a hornet telling Mike, "great!! now we have to stay for BOTH services. Mike asked me why and I said R.C. called us out" You see it was all about appearances to me at that point. I wasn't about to let someone make me look bad or think that I wasn't doing enough. God knew this to and that is why he put R.C. in my life. We started going to second service and guess what? We started learning. Now, you might think that would have been enough for good ol' R.C but for some reason he wouldn't leave us alone. The next email I got was inviting me to small group at his house. Are you kidding me? I have to stay for both services at church and now you want me to give up my Sunday evening to come to a small group? No, thank you we have plans. This was my response all three times that R.C. asked me to come to his small group. Finally the 4th time I decided we would go check it out. I wasn't very hopeful and once again only went to appear as the good Christian lady. In fact, the first month or so that was all it was for me. Yes, I said a month or so because we continued to go Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. Once again I made sure that people knew that I volunteered in the nursery and I belonged to small group and that we did life together :) Surely if I am doing all of these things I am a good Christian right? I don't really know when it happened but somewhere along the way God pricked our hearts and we started thirsting for his word. Mike became saved which was an answer to about 10 years of prayer and I got a hunger in me that for the first time ever food couldn't fill. We have been involved for about 3 years now and I have never looked back. R.C.'s wife Callie leads the Senior High School girls. I watched her from afar and I wanted to do that. For the first time ever I wanted to give up my time. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be as good as her or that the girls wouldn't like me. I was afraid that I would try it and fail. I remember mentioning that I might like to lead a group and Callie looked right at me and said well now that you mention it we do have a need. I sat with her and her group for about 6 months and although I didn't feel led to lead that group of girls I learned so much from her in that time. Callie and R.C. prepared me with the tools that I would soon need. When I told R.C and Callie that I didn't feel led to split the Senior girls once again they said, well...we know where there is a need. It is funny how God always works that out. I now lead the most amazing group of high school girls that keep me on my toes. They are inquisitive and question the word which forces me to learn scripture to teach them and re-assure them that God's word is the only truth. They have so many questions and so many insecurities that I can relate to. I want to share God's word with them and help them to understand there worth doesn't come from a friend, a boy friend, a fancy car, the new pair of jeans or anything like that. There worth should come in resting in God's word, the one that created them. The one that will always be faithful to them when others leave. I read back thru the pages of this blog and am amazed at how much I have grown. I am thankful that God used R.C. to encourage me to do more than just check of the list.I can't wait to share my testimony with the world and know that God is taking me in that direction. I can't wait to start this blog back up and share the amazing things that God is doing in my life and the lives of others around me.