It's almost Christmas

Christmas is just a few days away. I believe all the presents have been bought except for the air compressor that my husband knows he is getting but is to heavy for me to get by myself. I have several presents that aren't wrapped yet as I hate to wrap and really have thought about going and getting gift bags but I know it is more fun to unwrap a present. Today after church we stayed and delivered presents to families off the angel tree. For the first time Mike went with us. The first family we went to broke my heart. They have only been in America for about 2 months and they had 4 children. The oldest was 17 and was laid out on the cough he has cerabal palsey. There was a pallet laid on the floor that was one of the kids beds. The father was so kind and kept wanting us to sit down and talk. Tyler was hungry and Mike was in a hurry otherwise I would have loved to sit down and here his story. He invited us back any time and said and you don't have to bring gifts to stop by just stop by. He doesn't have a job yet but is looking. The second family we went to I am not sure how many kids they had as she wouldn't let them come downstairs. I finally figured out after talking to her it was because she was going to say the presents came from her-how sad to be that poor that you want to provide for your kids and you don't want them to know you had to get help in order to do so. The third house we went to I still can't figure out. It was so smokey in there it was hard to breathe which bothered me as they had a little baby in a play pen and a younger little boy running around. There were all kinds of stockings hung up and the mother said she loved Christmas but we had only been given one present to deliver and that was for a 15 year old girl. I wanted to ask Ray King about that family when I went back to the church to check in but he was busy so I didn't get to. I am not sure why we didn't have presents for the other kids. My boys all went with me and we had really good talks on the way home about how blessed we are. God is so good to us. Conner is just loving church more every week and I love that. He use to be so scared and hated it today he told me I didn't have to walk him to his room-I guess he is all grown up now. Last night he asked what day it was and I said Saturday and he said oh good. I asked him why and he said because tomorrow is Church. I like to think that God is working within him, Mike just thinks there must be a cute girl in his class..

Merry Christmas.

So many emotions

We are in the car headed back to TN.I can barely keep from crying. I always find myself so depressed when we leave KS and leave our loved ones. I got to see my brother and his fiance. It was the first time that my brother, my mom, and grandma were all together since moving to TN 14 years ago. It was so good to see my brother. It was also very weird to see him with his soon to be 8 year old step son. Seeing my little brother in the role of father was amazing to me. He is so good with Spencer and just took to my kids. My boys loved him and we all had so much fun together. As we stayed at my grandmother pinkertons house I found myself really missing my grandfather that passed away in 1991. I know he would have loved seeing my sons and would have loved them as much as I do. I have a feeling he would have helped them to get into some trouble as well. He never got to meet Mike either and I think they would have hit it off. As I pulled out of my grandmothers house I couldn't help wondering if it would be the last time we would all be together. It seems as if there has been so much death around us lately that I have learned to not take any time with family for granted. We headed over to my grandfather kaspareks house. My grandmother kasparek died one and a half years ago. My grandpa has a girlfriend. I am very happy for him and glad that he is not lonely but it was very hard seeing her in the role of my grandmother and in my grandmothers house. When she was holding Tyler I had to keep biting my lip to keep from crying as I wish it was my grandmother holding him. My grandma never got to meet Tyler. We then headed to Lyons and stayed with Mikes mom. I kept expecting Mikes dad to come home and one time even thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye. The coolest story came out this weekend. Mike was cleaning out his dads truck and found a cooler in the back of it. He opened it up and there were two catfish in there swimming around. They were smaller catfish. We were all shocked as there was no food and the top of the water was frozen. Mikes mom called mikes dads friend that had been fishing with him on his last fishing trip and asked about the catfish and this is what we found out: Apparently Orville had caught them and they were to small to keep so he was going to throw them back but then decided to take them to the cemetary and put them in the pond so that the kids that go fishing out there would have more fish to catch. This was the fishing trip where Orvill fell and broke his ribs and bruised his lungs. It was three weeks after this fishing trip before he got so sick he had to be hospitilized and finally died on October 5th. So those fish had been alive in that cooler for about two months...The plot that we bought for Orville when we buried him is very close to the pond at the cemetary so Mike and the boys took the fish out there and let them go. I hope that Orville is happy that his fish finally made it to the fishing hole :) Great story huh?? Mike and I are really considering moving back to KS. It is so hard as we have to figure out the job situation. I actually have a job I can do from home from there if we choose to move back. But there is alot to take into consideration. I am not sure I would miss TN but am not sure Ks is the right choice either. I just pray that God will make it clear what we should do... Well the kids are begging for the computer and to keep the peace I better sign off. This drive took us 16 hours on the way out there so I will do anything I can to help it go faster on the way back...

Bragging rights

I just got back from the awards cermony at David Youree Elementary. I love that God allowed it to be on a Monday when I was scheduled off work so that I could go. I also love that my husband is enough involved that he made it a priority to be there as well before going into work late. Conner made straight A's on his report card this six week so he made the Principals List. Actually, Conner was the only student in his class to get all A's. I know he doesn't get his smarts from me and have to credit his father for that but boy am I proud of him.

Funny how the son that I have to fight all night with to do his homework and never has it done in less than two hours was able to get straight A's.

GREAT JOB CONNER IM PROUD OF YOU

Tagged

I have been tagged by my good friend Kelly. (Thanks Kelly)
I am supposed to tell you 7 weird or interesting facts about myself....

1) I am could drink a whole 2 liter of Diet Coke in one day
2) I am barely 5ft tall
3) I met my husband trick or treating 18 years ago this October
4) I turn my alarm clock off and on about 15 times before I can go to sleep. I am terrified of over sleeping
5) I use to be able to lay on my stomach and suck in so much air that I could burp for over a minute straight (haven't tried this in the last 20 years or so)
6) When I get nervous I start laughing hysterically which isn't a good thing if you are in a work meeting
7) If I eat something that is hot in temperature I will pass out and have a seizure..The weird thing is I have never really tried to hard to figure out why-I just know not to eat hot things :)


Now back to my original posting thought. This week our microwave went out and so instead of getting just a new microwave I decided to talk my husband in to getting all new appliances. I love my new stove and am sure I will like the microwave and dishwasher when they get here. The refrigerator is a different series as our kitchen is such a weird shape that all of the refrigerators I liked wouldn't fit so I had to settle for one. It is just a tiny bit different in color but it is driving me nuts. I hope that I can just learn to be grateful for what I got and go on. Mike has found a couple of houses in Lyons that he wants us to look at when we go back over Thanksgiving. One of them is a two story farm house that is 2338 sq feet and has 5 acres with a two car garage, covered back porch that wraps around the side of the house and 5 metal storage buildings on the property. It is only 112,000. it is AMAZING to me what the prices of land and houses are back home. I had a broker tell me that if I did move to KS I could work from home for him. He said he wasn't sure he could pay me what the bank pays me( I doubt he could as I am paid very very well-I am truly blessed at the bank) but I would be able to work from home so that would be a definate plus. I guess Mike would just have to find a job and we would have to sell our house. I really need to pray to see what God wants us to do. The boys are actually excited about the prospect and I think if it weren't for me, Mike would have us moved there all ready..

I need to get to bed just wanted to update real quick. Will post more later.

F.E.A.R.-False Evidence Appearing Real

This has been my moto ever since Tyler was born and I have had to repeat it to myself over and over again many times today. Have you ever been going about your day and all of a sudden the Devil tried to ruin your day? That happened to me. Today I was talking to an employee of mine that I haven't gotten to know real well until recently. I hired her right before I went on maternity leave. During our conversation today she said something that made me realize she had been thru the death of one of her children. I asked her what happened since she hinted that she had a child pass away. She told me that her daughter was born with Congenital Nevus and complications from that killed her. I looked at her and said that is what my son Tyler was born with on his head. She told me that she knew that and when she had first seen him she wanted to tell me but couldn't. Apparently EVERYONE in my department knew this little tidbit but me. I have to admit my initial reaction was total panic. I felt like the wind had been let out of my sails. I wasn't sure what to do. I just wanted her out of my office because I was getting ready to break down. I felt horrible that I wanted to know all of the facts to see how similiar it was to Tyler, I felt guilty that I had a baby and she didn't have hers any more. I didn't ask her alot as she didn't open up very much about it but I do know that her daughter passed away when she was 19 months old and that her case had been ALOT worse than Tylers. The DR. had told her that her daughter wouldn't live past 25. I was shocked and amazed because everyone has told me what a rare condition this is and this girl said that as well. What are the chances that she would work where I do and have had a child born w/ the same rare condition?? The devil wanted to ruin my day and for awhile he did but then I have to keep telling myself that FEAR is nothing more then false evidence appearing real. I did have to take Tyler to the dr today for some chest congestion and when we were there the nurse asked if his spot was a birthmark. I just broke down. I ended up talking to the Dr some more and told her the Derm had told us it needed to come off right away and the plastic surgeon had said we could wait and that they thought we could wait until 6 months to have a biopsy done. She is having me go to another specialist just for a second opinion to make sure that I am very informed and have gathered as much evidence as I could to make an informed decision on what to do next. I know that God is the greatest physician of all times and I think it would be funny if he would just heal Tylers head and make his spot go away. I know he is in control and will take care of us.

Another one??

Mikes family is being surrounded by trials right now. We got a call yesterday that his uncle passed away. I think anytime you experience a death of anyone it brings back many emotions of feelings you felt when others before them passed away. I don't want to blog about my husbands personal life but I do want to ask for prayer from you prayer warriors out there. He is having a very difficult time accepting that it is ok to grieve and thinks that he should be over it. I have tried to explain that there is never really any getting over it, days just get easier. I know that we are on a journey for this season and that God will see us thru it but for the first time in my life I guess I feel like God is growing us in a way that is not going to happen overnight. It seems like when I have had problems before there was always a time limit on when I would have an answer or it would be solved but this time I don't know when the end will be in sight. It could be 3 months, a year there is no telling how long this season of grieve will last. As a wife I have had a very hard time stepping back and giving my husband who is very private his space. I tend to want to talk out my problems and have trouble understanding that not everyone does this. I also feel like we have gone thru everything together during the last 14 years but during his fathers death I had to step away during times when I really wanted to be right by his side but knew that he needed the space more. I have never felt as close to him and yet so far apart at the same time. I never know what is in his mind anymore only that he isn't always with me when he is physically present his mind tends to be else where.

Death brings out so many things and I have also had to deal with some feelings that I had stuffed deep inside from when my grandmother died and I had to walk that journey all by myself without my husband and children by my side. I didn't get to immediately hug my children after telling them that thier grandmother died because I was in another state and so Mike told them. This bothers me that these emotions are coming out as this is not about me and not the right time for me to be feeling these things yet I can't help how I feel.

i need to go I have company but please pray for Mike and his family

14 years

Yesterday was 14 years that my husband and I have been married. I am not sure I have time to type 14 things I love about him but let me try before I head off to work.

I love how strong he is for our family
I love how kind he is to me
I love that he attends church with our family
I love how he loves our kids
I love how involved he is in our kids activities
I love how patient he is with me at times when I may not deserve it
I love his generous attitute towards others
I love how he loves his Mom and Sister
I love how forgiving he is to me when I am being a butt
I love how hard he works to provide for our family
I love that he gives me my space when I need it
I love how tender his hugs have become lately
I love how he kisses me good night every night even if I went to bed first
I love my husband with all of my heart and am so glad that he is the one that God chose for me. God knew before I did and I am so glad that I met Mike. I can't imagine my life without him. I am so blessed.

Rambling

It is 11 oclock at night and we are somewhere in MO driving down interstate 70. You have to love the beauty of technology that is allowing me to blog while driving down the road. What a week this has been. I am so ready to be home in my own bed and not living out of a suitcase. It was extremely hard on Mike to leave his mother and head back to KS. She has no family living in KS anymore and it broke his heart to leave her. I have learned so much about myself this week. I have such a tendancy to run when things get tough. I told Mike that I can't imagine loosing him the way that his mother lost his father-we were all literally sitting there watching him take breathe after breathe wondering if it would be the last one and then finally it was-I can't get the picture of him dying out of my head and I can't imagine what Mike and his mother and sister must be feeling watching on of thier own blood literally pass away before there very eyes. Mike had asked me at one time if I should go get the boys and let them be in the room. I said no and I am so glad that I did as I can't get it out of my mind I don't know how they would deal with it. What a horrible thing to have to witness. I don't want to imagine having to go thru that with Mike or one of my parents. Then I think of my father that I have no relationship with but I don't want him to have to dye alone after all he gave me life-who will sit by his bedside and hold his hand in his dying days? I can't imagine watching my mom take her next breathe either. This weekend has brought up alot of feelings I had over loosing my grandmother and wondering about who will be the next loved one to die. I am ready to get back into a routine. Mike is really wanting to move back to Lyons and we actually looked at some houses. I am not sure what I would do for a living or what he would do. I don't know if I could live there with him having so much of a past there. Silly that we are grown ups and I still get insecure when I see a girl he dated. I like having him in our own little world where neither of us has a past like that-sick huh?? I would love to move back to be around grandparents and to be able to help them out and for the boys to be around Mikes mom but I just don't know how it all would work. It would have to be a God thing and I told Mike that God can work wonders and if that is in his plan it would all work out better then we thought. I have to laugh as my work gave me a rather large bonus last week that they had forgotten to give me when I was promoted to officer in January. That was a God thing as if they had given it to me in January it would all be gone but by giving it to me last week I was able to provide money for the hotel we stayed in all week, the rental car, we helped Mikes mom pay some bills and we bought cemetary plots for Mikes dad and went ahead and bought one for his mom as well. We would have been able to help them with out the bonus but it would have been a little harder on us financially. I think it is amazing that God provided that money right when we needed it.

What did you do over fall break?

I watched a man die. Mikes father passed away yesterday. Noone should ever have to go thru what Mike has gone thru the last 48 hours. I am sitting here in our hotel room dreading the moment Mike and the boys wake up adn reality hits them right between the eyes. My heart breaks for them and that I can't take away the pain. I was so mad at God but am now just begging for understanding although he keeps telling me it is not my place to understand. I just don't know why he took a way a father, husband and grandfather. I watched Mikes mom love her husband enough yesterday to let him go. I watched as she told him it was ok to go. I told Orville that this was the time for him to go home. That I loved him and would watch over Mike, Shelly and thier mom but he needed to just go home and have no more worries. Some people say death is peaceful. I hope that Mike and his sister and mother found it that way but honestly I didn't. Afterwards he looked peaceful but the moments leading up his final breathe were not as I would have liked them to be. He had issues with his lungs and that is probaby why. After he died my husband just sat there not shedding a tear but gripping his dads arm with both hands as his face and ears turned beat red. I had no idea what to do or how to help him. I asked him if he wanted time alone w/ his dad and he shook his head yes. I will never know what went on behind closed doors but I pray he was able to cry and release some of his emotions. I have never seen him like that before in my life. Last night Trey sat up in bed and said Grandpa I am right here right here Grandpa that scared me so bad I ran out of my bed and just about tackled Trey as I held him but he never woke up from his dream. I pray as this day starts that people can feel Gods arms holding them because they are going to need it now more than ever before.

Trip to KS

Mike came back last night but only because we decided to travel back to KS together as a family. We are going to leave tomorrow night and drive thru the night and will get there on Friday. We were going to go by plane but I was worried about Tylers ears and really we would have to rent a car anyhow and drive another 4 hours after getting there by plane so we decided to rent a car and drive there. Mike has been so worried about his dad and it has been contagious I have been so fearful for what might be. I do know that I have never seen Mike as broken as I saw him last night. I felt so good that he would be vulnerable in front of me and know that I would not judge him.

Well I need to go wash bottles....

Prayer

I can't believe it has been that long since I have posted. Life has kept me extremely busy. Work is going better then expected. I truly work for some amazing people. Tyler is doing great and growing like a weed.

Mike has been in KS since Thursday night as he got a phone call that his father was in the hospital and not doing very well. We got him on a plane less then 4 hours after recieving the call-I thought that was pretty good. My heart is breaking for Mike. I just pray that he can feel God's arms holding him and feel some comfort knowing that so many people are praying for him. Mikes dad is currently in a medical induced state of sedation and is on a respirator and has a feeding tube. The Dr's said that they are going to try to start cutting down the oxygen and see how he can do on his own. He seems to be breathing a little on his own but Mike said he went in to see him today and asked him how he was doing and he shook his head no. It broke Mike's heart as he is thinking his dad is telling him he isn't doing very well. I have never felt so helpless in my whole entire life. I am here in TN taking care of the kids and going thru the motions but my whole mind is in KS thinking about Mike and his family. Mike has never lost anyone close to him and I pray that this is not the first person he looses. I just pray his father has the will to fight and get better. I have never felt so far apart from anyone in my life. I don't really feel like blogging but wanted to ask for prayer for Mike and his family.

Internet Amazing

I am completely and totally amazed at what possibilities the internet will open up for you. I have joined Facebook and been reunited with many highschool friends and been able to look into thier vitural photo books and see what they have been up to for the last ten years. In my effort to save money and one day be a stay at home mom I have been researching many different sites. I found one site that pays you to take surveys...so far I have earned $1.75, I have found many new coupon sites and many bargin sites which I will post tomorrow as it is getting late and when baby sleeps I need to sleep. I did put live feeds to a site called Freebies 4 Mom there are lots of samples on there and you can also print coupons off the site. The feed to it is on the left in my blog....Stay tuned as I update my blog with many of the other things I have learned today while Tyler was napping...

Ramblings of a pretend stay at home mom

First of all...I shouldn't even be on this computer right now. I had every intention of getting up early doing my devotional, getting Tyler up and going to Franklin to visit some friends. It is now 8:53AM and I have done none of that and still sit here in my P.J's. Tyler got up in the middle of the night for the first time in a long time and it threw my sleep pattern off and I am allowing it to through off my whole day. I have accomplished nothing that I wanted to get done so far today. For those of you who know me..I am usually up and around extremely early in the morning and try to get everything done as early as possible to have the whole day to relax. I have reunited with some old friends on FACEBOOK this morning though which was interesting and brought back alot of memories of myself when I was Trey's age and thought that I knew it all and was ULTRA COOL.

Anyhow I have enjoyed my 11 weeks off work so far and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am far from ready to go back to work even though I have a fantastic job. While I have been off I have let life slow down a little bit and have made more time to do my devotional, journal, pray and just calm down and be still from time to time. I think that is the thing that I have most enjoyed about being home. When I am working I tend to be stressed out trying to get everything done and try so hard to be perfect at everything that I find myself falling short on alot of things. The only thing that I truly miss about working outside of the home is the adult conversation and the recognition. (that was two things huh?) I have taken so much more pride in my home as I have been off and have taken time to clean things that I have neglected for longer than I should have-the inside of my stove, windowsills my closet-you get the idea. I have really enjoyed doing all of this stuff and have not done it for someone to say thank-you but as I was doing it yesterday it did hit me that noone would probably even notice that I had spent hours working on our home for US. I realized that stay at home moms have the most important job of all times but they don't get the recognition that they deserve. Noone says thank-you for washing my sheets so that I will get a good nights sleep and be alert to pay attention in school so that I can go on to get straight A's and maybe one day be the scientist that discovers Cancer. (ok so that is a stretch but you get the idea) Noone says thank-you so much for cooking a warm nutritious meal so that I can go to bed full so that I will be able to sleep peacefully before my big day at school. The list goes on. Don't get me wrong my family does tell me thank-you and my kids actually noticed that I made thier beds and vacummed thier floors but I don't think they truly realize how much I loved doing it for them or how much it meant to me to be able to do it for them. For me that is such a love language-taking care of things like that. I definately think it is EASIER to work outside of the home where you have very rigid set standards upon which you are measured and everyone knows what it took to accomplish whatever it is that you accomplish on a daily basis at your job. I don't think this is making any sense and I think I knew that I was very tired when I started this post hence the name Ramblings...what I am trying to say is Thank-you to all of you stay at home moms. You have the most important job of all and don't always get the recognition that you deserve so I am saying Thank-you for everyone and I pray that one day I will get to stay home more with my children to help shape them and love on them.

I can't believe I am admitting this....

Ok...so today is Sunday. I get Tyler up to go to Sunday School with me which starts at 9:00AM then our Church starts at 10:45 and the boys all meet me at church for that. So...I am rushing around and get Tyler ready and get myself ready and head out the door. I didn't realize how late it was. I got to church and it was 9:06 and there were no close parking spots. I thought about it for a minute and knew that my group sets up front in our Sunday School class and that one of my two leaders had probably already started or might even be in prayer right then. I got to embarrassed to go in and walk up front with a baby and interupt class so what did I do? just what the devil wanted me to do. I turned around and went home. Mike just grinned at me and shook his head when he saw me come in the door announcing I was late so I would just wait and go to church with them. One of these days I might grow up and get some confidence. I wanted to be in God's word so bad this morning and let the Devil keep me from it. On the flip side though when I got home before going to church I got an email from an old college roomate. This old friend was really struggling with some issues in her life and had found me on FACEBOOK which then directed her to my blog so she knew that I was a Christ follower and she was reaching out to me asking me to pray for her. She mentioned that she felt selfish asking me to pray for her to which I explained that I had felt that way so often-for example I feel like if I don't go to church every week I have no right to ask anyone to pray for me. I explained to her that is how the Devil works and we can't give in to it. I was incredibly honored that this person that use to be a very very close friend to me felt comfortable asking me to pray for her. I shared with her some things I have learned about myself and God over the last two months of doing the devotional Jesus Calling. I really felt like I was supposed to be home and read her email and answer her. I felt like it was God's timing that I see the email when I did and I hope that I was able to give her some peace knowing that I would gladly pray for her. For those of you that read this blog please pray for her as well. God knows who she is and what she needs prayer for.

All right...now I am off to church.

Have a great rest of the weekend.

An update and a brothers love

I haven't posted in a few days. Funny how we ask for prayer and pray frequently about things and then when God answers us we sometimes forget to shout out his Glory and tell about the blessings that he has given us. We went to the plastic surgeon last Thursday and he said he wouldn't touch Tyler with a 10-FT pole right now. He said the surgery would be to extensive and require him to have balloons inserted to stretch his skin. He advised us to wait until he is a pre-teen ( we are actually thinking about age 5) He did say we should get a biopsy of it but that he was sure it would turn up nothing. His suggestion was to have the biopsy when Tyler was between 6 and 8 months old after he had grown some. I need to call the Derm. back and make sure she is ok with this recommendation but the plastic surgeon really showed me that God was answering some prayers. He said that he had seen these before and that if we waited it wouldn't be a serious operation at all and would leave Tyler with just a small scar. He didn't think the risk of Cancer was anything to worry about as he felt the odds were in our favor. The whole time he was talking I was grinning like an idiot because I knew God was taking care of the situation. Someone told me that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. I love that... so that is the update on that situation. Now I have to share something that has touched me a great deal today. Tyler had to go for his 2 month check up and get 3 shots. I took Trey and Conner with me so that we could go to Murfreesboro right afterwards. When it came time for the shots Conner chose to look away and stand facing the corner, Trey tried to help hold Tyler's legs done and he actually broke down and started crying. Some might consider this wimpy but I loved that his love for his brother was so evident. He is such a great big brother as is Conner. If they hear Tyler crying alot they will come down and ask what they can do to help. Conner even changed his first diaper today. This experience was a great lesson. I explained how even though they are older that it still hurts me when they get hurt but as a parent sometimes you have to stand by and watch while your children go thru something that hurts them. I explained that although the shots were to help make sure that Tyler had the opportunity to grow and be healthy it caused him a little pain in the beginning. Isn't that true of the love that God has for us? If we get that upset seeing our children hurt can you imagine how he must feel when we are hurting? WOW....

I am so blessed with my family and I love that they all love each other so much. Conner even told me today that I could live with him when I got old. I told him that he wouldn't really want me to live with him as it is hard to have someone else come live with you. I went on to say that his wife might not like me and he said well that is ok she can leave...I told him I was putting that in writing in his baby book so that when the time came I could show him that he chose me over his wife :) Have I mentioned that I love my kids???

Dr. Appt

We went to the Pediatric Dermotogist today. I had emailed several people this morning and asked them to pray and I was sitting in the waiting room and there was such a peace that came over me-I have only had that feeling a few times when I knew for sure that people were praying for something specific for me. I hate that trials that we have to go thru to get that peace yet the peace is undescribable. The derm. said that the spot definately needs to be removed on his head. She has referred us to a plastic surgeon that we will see on July 31st. She said that she is pretty confident that the spot is not cancer but that it needs to be removed due to the fact that it will continue to grow and will get thicker and there is more of chance of skin cancer due to his having this spot. As much as I hate that he is going to have to have surgery-they will litterally pull his skin away from his scalp and cut the bad skin out and then stitch it back together it is still much better than having Cancer. So many thoughts went thru my head today while we were at Vanderbilt. There is so much pain there and I couldn't help but feel like I really wanted to be able to make a difference there. When I was growing up I always said I was going to be a nurse in a pediatric unit and then somewhere in high school I forgot those dreams and they came back after getting married and having my first child but I never pursued it. I hate that I have never followed those dreams. I also hurt so badly for all of those parents that have kids sufferring in Vanderbilt. I can't imagine what they must be going thru. I also had the realization that I don't feel like I am a good enough person for God to answer my prayers-I sometimes think that if the "good" people pray for me there is more of a chance of God answering the prayer-kind of as if I think they have more influence with God then I do. I do know that it is not true but it does make me want to be a better Christian at the same time. This day has been full of many emotions today...I am not sure I can even blog them all but I thought I would try.

God Bless.

Practicing what I preach

I am having a hard time practicing what I preach lately. Tyler was born with a birthmark/mole on his head a little larger than a quarter. Our pediatrician referred us to a dermotologist that we saw this week. The dermotologist took a look at his head and said how unusual looking his birthmark was and how large it was. She said that she doesn't treat to many pediatric cases and referred us to Vanderbilt to a dermotologist there. She said that his spot is called Congenital Nevus and that only 1% of all infants are born with this and that it is even more uncommon to have it on the head where Tyler has it. She said that they might want to biopsy it and perhaps surgically remove it due to the fact that it can be associated with skin cancer and in order to do this they would have to cut it out it wouldn't be able to be lasered due to they have to be able to get all of the cells. Keep in mind she doesn't know they are going to do any of these things but the fact that she mentioned them made me nervous. I have researched it on the internet and it can be attributed to skin cancer after puberty and a few infants are born with these moles that are melanoma but that looks to be the rare case. My mind is going crazy wondering what if it is cancer, what if they have to operate what if it continues to grow... I was making my self sick looking up every type of word associated with this condition that I could find on the internet. I was imaging every worse case senerio when a friend of mine told me that it was ok to worry as he is my flesh and blood but that I have to have faith and that I have to remember that words such as rare, unusual and uncommon are all words that can be associated with greatness. So that is how I am trying to see this situation now...Tyler is great and one of a kind and will do great things. Funny how our mind can go crazy on us. We go to the dermotologist on Wed so please keep us in your prayers.

One month ago today

One month ago today I was holding sweet Tyler in my arms for the first time. It doesn't seem like a month ago that my Dr. told me to show up at the hospital to be induced just to find out that this wiggle worm had turned in the last week and I had to have a c-section. I was so scared to be cut but I prayed and minutes later I felt a peace come over me. I am sure there were some strong drugs involved as well but I also know that I asked for comfort and received it. All of my boys are very special to me and it is funny to think that when I had Trey I never thought I could love another child as much. God has allowed my heart to grow wide open to embrace all of my boys that he has blessed me with. I think they are all very special but there is something very special about the way that Tyler has changed our family. I think alot of it is because we are all older and wiser. I know that Mike and I appreciate every little thing about Tyler more and that we have more patience with him then we have the other boys. It has been so fun to share my pregnancy with them especially Conner who took an immediate interest. Trey and Conner are so sweet to Tyler and we have so much fun playing with him and making fun of the funny faces that he makes. God's timing couldn't have been better either since I have been able to stay home with them all this summer and will cherish this time with the three of them forever. This has been a dream come true being a stay at home mom with them this summer. I have so enjoyed spending time with them and getting my house clean and having dinner ready when Mike walked in the door. I feel so much more relaxed and in the moment then I do when I am working and always thinking of everything else that needs to be done. God has blessed our family in so many ways with the birth of Tyler one month ago today and I am so grateful. I love my boys...

Loosing my mind

I think post pregnancy has turned my mind to mush. I rushed everyone around yesterday to VBS back from VBS ran to the post office and stood in line for thirty minutes to mail my inlaws pictures of Tyler as they have no computer and have no idea how cute thier newest grandson is, ran the kids to Blockbuster to find a game to entertain them and then rushed to Tylers Dr. apt just in the knick of time...or so I thought. I was out of breath from rushing around as I ran up to the counter to sign in just to find out his appointment was the next day. I then came home from that non appointment and proceeded to throw away the blockbuster movie I had gotten into the trash can outside and had to go retrieve it.

Today we went to Tylers appointment. He still hasn't gained his birth weight back he is now 8.14 and needs to get to 9.6 so now we have to go back next week. If he hasn't gained it by next week which I am sure he will then they will have to run tests to find out why he hasn't gained it back. We also have to see a dermotologist to have the birth mark on his head checked out but I am faithful that it is nothing.

My mom has been here and been a huge help. She is great with Tyler and the older kids. She took the boys to ride go carts the other night and they had a blast.She leaves tomorrow and although I know it is time for her to go. I am really going to miss her. She has really helped hold and feed while I got some things done around the house.

The boys have loved VBS and this is the first year I have gotten to go in and see VBS in action. There is so much work that goes into it and I am thankful for all the volunteers that make it possible for my boys to go and learn about Jesus in a fun way.

Well I need to go clean up from dinner but wanted to post real quick

God Bless

Lisa

Tyler Jackson Sallee

This little boy has already proven to be a handful. I delivered him on Tuesday the third via suprise c-section because in the last week he had turned and was breech. Talk about a suprise. My husband got to watch it and told Tyler that he would never make him mad because watching him be born was totally amazing and that he was a changed man after seeing that...I love seeing that side of my husband. I love watching him with the boys when they are so little. I love seeing him whisper how much he loves them.

Today was a suprise as we were going to go home today but suprise the pediatrician didn't release Tyler because he has lost more than a pound of his birth weight he started out at 9.6 and now weighs 8.2 and he has a high level of jaundice so he is under the lights today and I only get to see him for thirty minutes every three hours for now. The Dr. found a reason to let me stay tonight and I pray that Tyler will get to come home tomorrow as I am not sure they would be able to let me stay the night tomorrow and I do NOT want to leave him here. Someone said they might be able to get me a courtsey room if that happens so I hope they are right as the Dr. said he would probably have to discharge me. I am so ready to get Tyler home to sleep in his own bed, see his swing and his room. I am so anxious and today was such a disapoointment. I know God is going to take care of him. I just wanted to come home w/ him I am tired of the hospital so please join me in prayer that we can bring this little guy home tomorrow. He is precious and I can't wait for you all to meet him.

More Bed Rest

A few faithful readers have reminded me I haven't updated this week. Sorry about that sometimes I forget that people actually read it. I went back to the Dr on Tuesday after almost a week of bed rest and my blood pressure was down and I was feeling so much better. The ultrasound showed the baby looked ok and his head was already measuring 40 weeks can you say ouch??? I have such big babies. This one has fat cheeks as I got to see him in 4D again a little bit. I went back to the Dr today as they are watching me really closely and my blood pressure was 138/98 so they made me lay back down for 15 minutes and it dropped to 116/62 the Dr came in and said gosh you are almost dead when you lay down but that is ok. Not sure how to take that one...but he said my cervix wasn't favorable for induction right now so he ordered me to more bed rest and I have to go back on Monday and have my blood pressure checked and a non stress test on the baby and then we may talk about induction next week. I had tried to work this week Tuesday-Friday just for 6 hours and I have a sit down job but I guess that was enought to counter effect all the bed rest. So...even though in the beginning I begged him not to induce me no matter what now we are talking about an induction all over again. I just don't want to take maternity leave w/out the baby and I am tired of feeling bad when my blood pressure is up. My hubby has been wonderful though and he knows how hard it is on me to just lay around. I am truly blessed and have fallen in love with him all over again. I need to get Conner to guitar lessons but wanted to do a quick update....I know I know I am supposed to be in bed but his lesson is already paid for :)

Nothing to do but lay around

I was ordered to bed rest last Wed and told to schedule a Dr apt for today-Friday. Today I have been told I need to remain on bedrest until Tuesday due to my blood pressure being to high. Tuesday I go in for an ultrasound to see if my blood pressure is affecting the baby or not. Depending on the results will be the treatment that my Dr. orders it may be induction or I am not sure what else. It would be great if I could just go into labor this weekend but I still have 25 days or so to go so it is still early. I hate waiting until Tuesday to make sure everything is ok so I am going to do my best to stay laying down. I can tell a difference when I am up moving around and laying down so I guess the Dr. knows best. The kids are out of school for the summer and excited. I can't believe I will have a fourth grader and a seventh grader. Time sure does fly. This is the first year we have not been camping on memorial day in years and I hate to miss it but per the Dr we were told not to go out of state so I guess we better not.

Have a great memorial day weekend.

Changed my mind

Just time for a quick post before I head down stairs to take what has become my daily nap ritual. I have been coming home from work so tired and taking a little nap before Mike gets home. I felt really guilty at first but then realized it won't be long before naps are a luxury item...Last night as I was getting things ready for the hospital and making my things to do list I suddenly decided that it wasn't fair to name the baby Colton if Mike really wanted Tyler. I have the best husband and he has been so good to me. He has wanted the name Tyler for my other two boys and I have never given in so I decided I would suprise him and take the letters back to KMART and exchange them for letters that said Tyler. I think we have decided on Tyler Jackson-that is of course unless I change my mind again....funny how crazy you become the more pregnant you get.

Have a blessed day.

Not to much longer

Gosh I can't believe that I haven't posted since April 22. My days are filled with work and then I have been coming home to tired to do much of anything-I take that back, I come home cook dinner, clean up from dinner, work on the babys room try to straighten up the house and then I am to tired to do much of anything. Not to much longer before Coleton joins us. We don't have a middle name just the first name. I have lists of things I need to get done before he gets here and I am not sure I will accomplish the task of marking everything off the list in time or not. I had a baby shower at work on Tuesday. I am truly overwhelmed with everyones generosity. This baby has been given so much attention and love and that is while he is still in the womb so I can't imagine what he is going to do on the outside. I can't wait to see Conner and Trey with him and see how they react to him. I am ready to see Mike with him as well. I always see such a soft side of Mike when he is around children. I love my boys all 4 of them more than I can even begin to describe. I remember when I was pregnant with Conner I was so worried that I wouldn't love him as much as Trey as my heart was already so full of love and that spot was occupied by Trey. I realized very soon that you love all of your children no matter how many you have. There are different qualities about each of them that make you smile, bring tears to your eyes or even make you want to drop kick them. Each child is special in thier own way and God allows your heart to grow and make room for all of them. I can't wait to make room for this one.

Have a great night

Don't fight

Gosh what a day this has been. It started at work when we had to terminate the employment of a very dear friend. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Then tonight at the ball park Trey got into a fight. I guess some boy threw a ball at him and Trey went after it and the boy told him to leave his dirty hands off his ball stupid. Trey then told the kid to shut up. The boy then threw a water bottle at the back of Trey's head. Trey then charged the kids. It is so hard to teach your kids to be the bigger person and just walk away. I told Trey that he shouldn't have hit that kid when I find out that the boy was also teasing Trey saying I have seen your mom and I might not be able to hit you skinny boy but I can hit your mom as she would be hard to miss. I cried knowing that someone made fun of Trey because I have gotten so big with this pregnancy. It is still not a reason to hit anyone and Trey was in the wrong. I just hate that he got made fun of because of me. I sure hope tomorrow is a better day.

Happy Birthday Honey

Today is my husbands 36th birthday. I am more in love with my husband than ever. I love that he puts up with my inner child. I love that he knows my moods and what is behind them. I love that he puts up with me. I love how hard he works to support our family and what a great father he is. I love how great he is with the kids. I love him for loving me.

We had a party for him last night I think there were 19 people here. As I looked around the house I realized how the Lord has blessed us with Great friends. We have met so many wonderful people since moving to Nashville and we have really got some good friends. It was nice because most of them didn't know each other but everyone got along wonderfully even the kids. We had five kids spend the night last night and never heard a peep out of them. We had some friends come over that we hadn't seen in 9 years and some friends that we use to be friends with in Nashville but lost touch with and just reunited with them recently. It was a wonderful evening and couldn't have been more perfect.

Happy brithday honey I love you

We have uninvited guests

Always something happening around this house hold. If it isn't my 12 getting his first kiss it is something else. I noticed this weekend a spot on the wall going to our bonus room that looked like a paint bubble. I touched it and it came off to reveal a tiny little hole. The next day I realized it was back and we brushed it off again. Witin two hours it was back and we could see something moving around in the hole. A call to the BUG MAN the next day and a visit confirmed we have termites. This is not an inexpensive thing to have treated especially when I am getting ready to take 12 weeks off of work. I was more than a little stressed as he described what would have to be done-this is after he drilled a hole in our bonus room wall that we just painted a month ago. But I know it will all work out.

On the plus side. I bought a used breast pump at a consignment sale a few months ago and I took a breast feeding class last week. The instructor told me to go by stonecrest and she would tell me how well the pump was working. I only paid 60.00 for the pump which retails for 280. so I felt like I had gotten a good deal until I talked to her and she made me realize I didn't know how much life was in it but praise the Lord when I took it in today it is functioning at full capacity at the moment. I have to sing the praises of Joy the lactation consultant at Stonecrest. I can't deliver there due to them not taking my insurance yet she spent about an hour with me today answering questions and helping me find the correct size breast shields for my pumps and assuring me that I could do this. I thought it was great that she didn't charge me to pick her brain when I wasn't even delivering at her hospital. What great customer service

And the good news is................................

Before I begin this post I have to ask you to pray for my neighbor Kelly who is on a missionary trip to Mexico. I have been thinking about her alot today and ask that everyone will pray for a wonderful trip for her and a safe return next Saturday night. Also pray for her family that they can make it through the week without her.

Now on to my post.....................
Last night Trey went skating. Mike went to go get him around 10:30 as always. When they got home Trey looked a little sheepish to me and said hi and ran up stairs. He then hollered down stairs dad you can tell her the good and bad news. Mike asked him if he was sure that he didn't want to tell me himself and Trey insisted that Mike could tell me. I was asking Mike what Trey was talking about when Mike replied that the bad news was that Trey had lost his money while skating...Ok I said then is the good news that someone found it? Mike said no. The good news per Trey is that he got his first kiss...I just sat there and said ok I am waiting for the good news. Mike started laughing and said I told Trey I wasn't sure that you would consider that good news. I said well I am still waiting for the good news. I then asked Mike what kind of kiss were we talking about? A peck vs an open mouth kiss..what you can't drop that bombshell on me and not have the details. Mike said that Trey didn't elaberate that he had just gotten in the truck and said I have good news and I have bad news. While I am flattered that my 12 year old son will confide in his dad and I, I am bewildered that he would think for a minute that I would consider him passing this major milestone at such an early age good news. I had to think had I egged him on? Had I said something to make him think kissing was a great feat to accomplish? I then realized that I got my first kiss at 14 and considering how much older kids think they are these days I guess it is about the equivelant. Still I had trouble kissing him good night last night as I bent down all I could think was that some other female had kissed those lips. Needless to say I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and spent a good portion of it praying that God would look over my quickly maturing son and that he would help him to surround himself with good people and to make good choices...

I have also learned that good news depends on whose perspective you are looking at it from.

Take a look at this...funny how God's timing is. I was just talking to my boss today about how sad it is that Oprah doesn't use the huge platform that God has given her to promote him. I hadn't seen or heard of this video yet we were just talking about what a shame it was because so many people follow her and she could really be God's voice so to speak...then I came home and my grandmother had sent me this video..take a look.You have to scroll down as the video was to big to fit in this space so it has messed up my page a little but it is worth having an unattractive blog to get this word out there....

Just an array of things......

Gosh as I write this blog I am silently praying that KU gets beat out of the final four NCAA championship that is starting right now....Mike is an avid KU fan and if they win they will play Memphis on Monday night for the Championship game....so why am I rooting against them for the first time in 14 years of marriage??? Because I have enrolled us in a breast feeding class for Monday night...now you see the issue I have..Mike doesn't think he needs to go to the class because in his words-he already knows how to do that (I know more info then you needed but what a guy comment) He swears he will be the only guy there although i have called and verified that is not the case unless all the husbands plead out to watch the game. If KU wins I CANT make him miss the game to go to the breast feeding class so I may be posting on craigs list for a stand in husband for Monday night depending on the results of this game. The down side to KU loosing is that Mike will sulk all night as he thinks by his couch coaching that he is personally responsible for thier win or loss. I keep thinking KU should add him to thier payroll as much coaching for them as he does. I must say it is rather endearing to watch him and Conner watching the game. Trey has never been much into TV sports but Conner loves them and actually knows so many statistics that it amazes me. So watching both of them tonight sitting on the couch together hollering for KU is making me smile...

I owe Conner a little something but I am not sure what that would be..Last night I got nostalgic and started watching home videos-after I called around Smyrna to find someone who had a VHS tape converter for this mini tapes that our camcorder use to take. Trey is to cool to hang w/ us any more so he was upstairs on his phone w/ his girlfriend most of the night but Conner sat thru about 3 hours of home videos with us. He kept waiting to see some of him and kept asking when he was going to be on them. I think i have about 7 of these tapes and Conner made an appearance for maybe 2 hours of the tapes. (Have I mentioned he is the 2nd child?? Someone of you out there can relate wether or not you admit to it or not). We tried to blow it off saying that the camcorder stopped working shortly after Conner was born but because Conner wasn't born yesterday he knew that wasn't the truth. I felt so bad for him as he kept waiting to get a glimpse of himself doing all the cute things Trey was doing just to be told he wouldn't be seeing that anytime soon.

I just left Conners baseball practice and my heart is so full of grattitude. I have been so blessed for this whole pregnancy from wonderful friends of the past that have cropped up and done the most amazing things for me, to my great neighbors that have offered to help w/ the kids when the baby gets here to the moms on the baseball team that keep saying that they can't wait for this baby to get here to spoil him. The fact that people want to love on my baby and spoil him makes me so happy. How lucky is this unborn child that people are already falling in love with him. I am so blessed......

I hope you all have a blessed evening.. I guess I will go watch the game...

Crazy Store Policies

I have no idea why I am even wasting time writing about this, I guess because I am bored and have ran out of things to do so I thought I would vent for just a moment. Mike and I went to Target and registered today for baby items. When we were done the lady said MAKE SURE EVERYONE GIVES YOU A GIFT RECIEPT because if you get duplicates and don't have a reciept you can't even get a store credit. She went on to say they knew that thier machines weren't synching with other Target stores and therefore lots of people were getting duplicates and that they have a very strict exchange policy so without a reciept you can't even get store credit. How tacky is that to have to tell everyone please give me a gift reciept. I knew they were having problems because I attended a baby shower of a co-worker a few saturdays ago. I had gotten her present a week earlier and made sure they scanned it and knew it came off her registry. She still got two more of those items and the people I spoke to said it was still on her registry as having not recieved one the day of her shower. It seems if Target knows they are having trouble they would make an exception as far as at least giving store credit. We also registered at Babies R Us and they tell you as long as something came off your registry then you can exchange it w/ no reciept I don't know why Target doesn't do this. Anyhow I just had to share this because a few weeks ago I was in Target trying to register originally but all thier scanners were broken and there was a lady w/ a cart full of baby stuff that she said was all duplicates I mean a cart full and they were telling her to bad because she didn't have any of the reciepts and I felt so sorry for her. Anyhow crazy policy huh? I am now done complaining and will try to find something constructive to do with my time.

Have a great evening.

Pictures

I can't figure out my new scanner so I am just putting these on here for now w/ all this white space. I will work on getting them enlarged and better but for now I am to tired to mess with it. In one of the black and white pictures it looks like he is pointing at us :) we got to see him yawn, smile and stretch it was neat seeing him yawn. It was really clear. Trey didn't act like he was interested but when we were done he showed me two pictures he had taken with his cell phone of the screen showing the baby so he must have liked it a little bit. It looks like he has the famous big cheeks both boys have had....

Ultrasound pictures

I was a little disapointed in the quality of these but it was becuase the umbilical cord was right by his face making a shadow...anyhow I thought I would share....

God is to good to me

I have to do a post on how good God has been to me with this pregnancy. As many of you know it only took a week for me to get pregnant which in itself is a God thing. Then God allowed me to know I was pregnant when I was 5 days pregnant by showing me a sign and now the blessings just keep on coming. I have been searching for someone to watch this little one for me and I have been completely stressed out about finding daycare. I knew God was going to take care of the situation but I really wanted it to be in my time and not his-he has blessed me by showing me a glimpse of what he has in store for me. I have found a lady who is the mother of a dear friend of mine and they used to live across the street from me in Nashville. I have really enjoyed getting to know this friend again and have had alot of fun with her over the last few months. I totally trust her mother with this baby and know I will have peace of mind and not have to worry at all. She is going to watch the baby for me for 125.00 a week. Praise the Lord that was the only obstacle with this baby that I hadn't figured out. Then...yesterday I took the boys skating. I didn't really want to go but decided it wasn't about me and if I could spend just a few hours doing something I didn't want to do that would make the kids happy that was what I was going to do. My youngest son saw a friend of his there. This friend was with his babysitter who had a 7 month old baby boy. I got to talking to her and the little boy she was watching ended up spending the night with us. When I took him home today she was there babysitting his siblings and had a three dresser plastic storage container full of baby clothes for me. They are all adorable and some still had the tags on it. They were from size new born to 9 months. Mostly 3-6 but because of her I am set on clothes for this baby. I didn't even know her last name. I called her this afternoon to get her address and her last name and I bought her a gift certificate from VIP Nails I figured it was the least I could do. See God knew I needed to go to the skating rink yesterday before I did...Isn't God good. I can't get over how much he has taken care of me during thie pregnancy...I love my heavenly Father. I love him always but in times like this it really makes me realize how much he loves me as well that he would look after me like this.

I just wanted to share how great God is.....

Bless you

Lisa

To Old for the Easter Bunny

Ok clearly my boys (12 & 9) are to old to believe in a ficticious over sized bunny that hops around and hides easter eggs in peoples back yards but can't they just pretend???? Yesterday I got everything ready to dye Easter Eggs and my 9 year old was a great sport and came to the table to color Easter Eggs with me. My twelve year old was about to until on of my husbands friends showed up with his 12 year old daughter and then he wasn't about to be seen doing something as juvinelle as coloring eggs. He finally came around a little bit and at least put some of the shrink wrap things on a few eggs that would shrink when you blew dried them. Now I was trying to be cool and had bought all sports decorations thinking that would make it a little more acceptable to be coloring easter eggs with your mom on a Saturday night.

After they went to sleep I went in to my closet and stuffed 24 colored eggs with candy and got thier baskets ready. This was no easy feat as I am very front heavy and it is not comfortable at 7 months pregnant to sit cross legged in the floor for any amount of time. I sat my alarm this morning and went out in the cold and hid 24 plastic eggs all over the back yard. One of my neighbors 5th grade daughters saw me and I would love to know what she was thinking.... I then set out thier Easter Baskets that were filled with enough candy to cause a small cavity and Itunes gift cards, wal mart gift cards and lego sets for my youngest. I was so excited for the kids to come down stairs. When they finally stumbled out of bed they came down individually and both of them just glanced at thier baskets and then went back to thier bedrooms. I was sooooo disappointed. They finally came down and gave the appropriate responses to thier baskets and I spent the rest of the morning helping build lego sets. I told them that the Easter bunny had been in our back yard and it was probably 3 hours later before my oldest son who has my sweet tooth decided he wanted to go look for some eggs. My youngest had no desire to participate so instead of being a family event as in years past my oldest just went and found all 23 eggs. I say 23 because our lovely dog had found one of the eggs and tried to eat it and all of the candy in it.

I know I am silly for trying to keep up such traditions when they are to old but really I have just as much fun as they do or in this case more fun. It really hit me today how old they are and how little time I have left to enjoy these holidays with them before they spread thier wings and grow. I guess it is a good thing we have another one joining our family to help keep me entertained.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and remembered to thank-God for what this holiday truly stands for which is so much more than a bunny and some silly eggs.

God Bless

Take a peek....

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

Prayer Request

A few months ago I asked for prayer for a little boy named Chase Donnell that I have never met but someone in our Sunday School asked us to pray for. He was diagnosed with Burketts cancer last August. I have been following his care page faithfully. I feel drawn to pray for this little boy. Last week he knew he was going to die and asked to be Baptized he was Baptized in a bathtub at Vanderbilt. His faith has been amazing and he has told his parents he just wants to die and go to heaven and see his pug puppy he had that had passed away. About 3 weeks ago he started a transplant process and he had made it to day 28 and was discharged out of the hospital and planned on going to the Ronald Mcdonald house and he got a fever and had to stay. He has gone down hill since then. I just read the post today and he is not expected to make it thru the day. Please pray for this little boy that he will pass peacefully and that his parents will feel the prescence of God stronger than ever before. He also has a brother named Noah and a sister named Gracie Bell that are younger. Chase is only 10 I can't imagine how hard this must have been on them with thier parents at the hospital so often. Please pray for this family.

Our first photo shoot

JaNeil and I have a little side business doing photography. We are far from the professionals that we would like to be but we are learning alot. We had a friend tell her sister about us and we did her daughters Bridal Portraits back in November. They then asked us to shoot thier wedding which was yesterday. It was an amazing feeling to walk into the reception and see a the Bridal Portrait that you took on display for everyone to see. We had a great time watching the bride and groom. It was wonderful to see the love they had in thier eyes for each other. I think sometimes you get so busy in life that you forget to remember what it was like when you were still young and discovering things about each other every day. Rodney Wilson officiated the wedding and did an amazing job. I am editing the pictures now and will probably post some here as well on our photography blog www.landjphotography.blogspot.com

The only down side to the day other than the fact that we didnt' eat all day and my ankles were swollen like you wouldn't believe from standing from 11-6 was that someone stole JaNeils coat which had all her keys in the pocket and some other things and they also stole my cell phone. I guess we learned a lesson. We had put them in the handicap stall at the church because we had all of our gear in two bags anad then we had hung her coat over them. They had to get into my bag to get my cell phone and my wallet was in there w/ all my credit card numbers and everything. None of them appear to be missing I just hope they didn't write down the numbers but I am thinking surely they would have just taken them. Not sure why they didn't. Maybe they thought just taking a coat and a phone wasn't really stealing? I have never had anything stolen before and as small of an item as that may be I feel very violated. It is a weird feeling. Of course JaNeil can't drive or get in her car to get her purse which is parked outside of my house until her husband who is out of town for the weekend gets back so I am sure she REALLY feels violated.

God Bless

Feeling like Royalty one minute back to Reality the next

The bank I work at has a suite at the Summet Center. We can request tickets to events as they come open. I got four tickets to the Motor Cross last night. We also take turns sharing the parking garage pass. Last night it was my turn. We felt so fancy getting to park in the garage and take the elevator which had a real elevator attendant in it. We got to the suite and we were the first ones there so we were able to enjoy the wings, hotdogs, chips and free softdrinks for about thirty minutes before anyone else showed up. The boys were loving it until Conner started not feeling good. He had mentioned his throat was hurting earlier in the day but then I gave him some motrin and he seemed fine. Right before we left he showed me he had a rash. I didn't think it was chicken pox as it looked different than Treys a few weeks ago but I gave him some Benadryl and we left to go downtown. It didn't hit me until we got down there and he started crying because he was so cold and his throat hurt so bad that he probably has strep throat. We will be setting our alarm clocks tomorow morning to get up bright and early and go to TN Urgent Care before all the really sick people get there and we catch something worse than Strep. Needless to say we left the show before it was over which bummed everyone out a little bit but Conner was asleep as soon as Mike started the truck up. I just pray that noone else gets it as it is going to be a very busy month at school and I really can't afford to miss.

God Bless

Fat, Swollen and snoring like a freight train

Gosh isn't that title lovely? That pretty much describes the state that I find my self in these days. I still have about 3.5 months to go and I can't imagine that I can get any bigger or that my feet and arms can swell any more. Last week I had to remind myself how much I wanted this baby. I have gotten his nursery put together a little bit and went to a consignment sale and got quite a few good deals now we just need the time to fly by so he can arrive. That is the hard part waiting. I guess we still need to find a name but I guess we will agree sooner or later.

My great aunt died yesterday so please keep her immediate family in your prayers. She had a very rare brain disorder in fact the Univerity of KU medical said hers was one of two people they had ever seen with this disease. She had basically been trapped in her body for the last ten years not being able to communicate. It was similiar to alzhimers in many ways. Please pray for my grandmother who was very close to her and is down there trying to help with that and take care of my aunt who had a double knee replacement.

God Bless
Lisa

Tag your it

My friend Kelly tagged me. I have been tagged before and never played along but she asked nicely so I will try to oblige...here it goes:


Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Staffing Recruiter at Express Personell
2. Bank officer at Tennessee Commerce Bank
3. Telemarketer at Idelman Telemarketing
4. Cashier at Dillons

3. Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Diary of an angry black woman
2. On golden pond
3. I hate to watch movies over again so those are the only two
4.

Four places I have lived:
1. Houston TX
2. Emporia KS
3. Fort Collins CO.
4. Smyrna, TN

Four shows that I watch:
1. Big Brother (totally immoral but I am hooked)
2. American Idol
3. According to Jim
4. Greys Anatomy -when the writers aren't on strike.


Four places I have been:
1. Chicago
2. Rio Dosa New Mexico
3. Manitu Springs Colorado
4. California

Four people who email me regularly:
1. Dana Sink
2. Samantha Davis
3. Christinie Lapinta
4. Aunt Deann

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Anything Mexican
2. Any type of pasta
3. Deli Sandwhiches
4. Chineese


Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Taking a nap
2. On vacation
3.With all of my family
4.taking another nap

Four things I'm looking forward to in the next 12 months:
1. Weekend Camping Trips
2. The birth of my child
3. Being at home this summer with my kids
4. Sending the kids to camp so I won't be home all summer with them-#3's enjoyment might be short lived :)

Four Goals for the New Year:
1. Work on having quiet time with/for God
2. Be debt free (except our house)
3. Patience
4. Seeing out of state family more often

Four gifts I got for Christmas:
1. Worship CD's
2. Gift Cards
3. I can't remember....
4. I can't remember...

Four places I want to visit
1. Myrtle Beach
2. San Francisco
3. San Antonio
4. Alaska

Four things I wish I could be better at:
1. Reading my Bible every day
2. Parenting
3. Managing money
4. Staying in touch with friends

Four Things You Don't Know About Me:
1. I came in 3rd in the state of KS in the state forensics competition with a speech about kissing
2. I have had three last names-Kasparek, Hornbeck and Sallee
3. I am afraid of confrontation unless I have on Sunglasses so you can't see my eyes and then I feel tough
4. I love hugs

Four Things I Can Cook Without a Recipe:
1. Mexican Spaghetti(thanks to Kelly)
2. Swiss Chicken and stuffing
3. Pigs in a blanket
4. Frozen Pizzas

Four Musicians/Groups I Really Like:
1.I don't know any groups or names of songs.
2.
3.
4.

I tried by best Kelly :)

Disappointment

Today we talked in Sunday School how even when we experience disappointment that God is still good. Our Sunday School teacher asked how we would finish this sentence. I experienced disappointment when.....she talked about how even the disappointments that you experience as a child play a big part in the adult you become if you don't turn it over to God. She talked about how God wants to be the salve that heals you if you just turn it over to him. How true that is..What a refreshing liberating feeling it is when you can say even though things didn't turn out the way I wanted my God is still good.

Tomorrow it will be one year since my grandmother passed away. It is amazing to think that a whole year has passed by since I last saw her. Technically it was a year ago today that I spoke to her for the last time. I got sad the other day thinking about what a huge part she played in the care of my boys when I brought them home from the hospital. With both boys my grandmother and grandfather came to vist me and helped me when I was on maternity leave. They brough boxes of clothes that they had bought at garage sales for my babies. The other day I got sad thinking how this baby will never know my grandmother his great grandmother and how when I come home from the hospital I won't be getting a visit from them. I think that will be a bittersweet time for me. I will be so happy to have my son in my arms in his home but so sad that my grandmother won't be there.

Please pray for a friend of my sons mother. My sons friend called him yesterday to tell him that his mother has breast cancer and is starting chemo today. It is amazing because this is a person that I have always thought had the perfect so called family. She has a boy and a girl has family here in Smyrna that they eat dinner with ever Friday night and has the most unbelievably gorgeous home. It hit me today that none of those things really matter when tragedy strikes. God can test any of us at any time and none of the material things will help us get through those tests. It is only when we rely fully on our Father and turn it over to him that our wounds can be healed. Please pray for this family

God Bless

Lisa

Help me name our son

Help a girl out and take the poll to the left to help us name our son. I had girls names picked out that we agreed on but we can't seem to reach a decision on a boys name. We still have plenty of time left as my due date is 4 months from today. I am getting really excited and can't believe how much I have changed since our last post. We bought a crib and changing table/dresser, I have ordered the nursery deco and gotten a stroller. I am going to a consignment sale next week and hope to get lots of goodies there.

I don't have time to post as my family thinks they need to eat and that they need me to fix it so hungry stomachs are calling but please take my poll.

Thanks

Lisa

Long time no post

I have not posted in forever and still owe it to Conner to get his birthday slide show up here. Maybe by the time he is 10 I will have accomplished that. Time is slipping away from us slowly but surely. This past week has been very busy. I got a promotion at work on Friday. I have been promoted as an Officer of the bank. Along with that comes the great benefit of having four weeks paid vacation. I am loving that. We found out yesterday that we are having another boy. I guess we can start a 2008 in color version of MY THREE SONS. I didn't handle that news very well and am quite ashamed of myself. I pouted and screamed and cried and didn't talk to my husband at all after we found out. I just withdrew. Thank God that I have the best husband in the worl in my opionion and that he was kind and patient with me until I could finally get it out today about how disappointed I am. Truth is I am not sure that I would be good with a girl. I am not very girly myself but I would like to have one for the first 5 years and then I could pass her on when she got to difficult :) I think it was the realization that I would never have a daughter that hit me. That this truly will be my last pregnancy-that I am planning, who knows what God has in plan. I just shut down yesterday and couldn't look at anything baby w/out being mad and bitter. I even told God I was mad at him. I had to worn my friend at church last night that she might not want to sit with me as there was a really good chance that God was going to cave the building in on me. I talked to him today and told him I could imagine how disappointed in me he was that he gave me such a gift and I wanted to return it. How typical of us that we sometimes don't recognize the magnitute of what God has done for us. I am much better today. I was even able to look at cribs and buy a diaper bag. I am going shopping this weekend with a dear friend and althought she is more excited than me and I don't think I will ever get overly excited about buying boy clothes as they just aren't as fun as girl clothes, we will get through it and get some much needed stuff bought.

Trey has found it very amusing over the last week to come up and hit me in the stomach (not hard or anything, just enough to make it jiggle) I told him his brother was going to come out and beat him up. I heard him telling Conner last night can you believe we are going to have ANOTHER little brother. We are going to have a third kid running around. I think it just hit him for the first time what this all means. I know he will be a great big brother and have no worries about that at all. He had the chicken pox this week and it was so nice not having to worry about picking him up from school or doing homework but he was so excited to get back to school yesterday.

Just wanted to touch base

Have a blessed day

January

Check out the slideshow below. Most of the pictures are from Trey's birthday party we had at LaserChase in Franklin this weekend. Conner is having a skating party next weekend and then we are done w/ parties until Mike turns 36 in APRIL. Gosh we are all getting older.

I haven't blogged in awhile between the holidays, the family, getting the babies room built and being tired I haven't had the time or energy. I can't believe Trey turned 12 last week. I went to my ob/gyn appointment on his birthday and asked my Dr. if he knew what he was doing 12 years ago on that day :) I had an early ultrasound done last week. My Dr had not been able to get a heartbeat on the baby that lasted long enough that he could tell how many beats per minute. He felt ok about this and assured me it was because my placenta was in front he thought and it was blocking the baby. He asked me if I wanted an ultrasound and for peace of mind and I said no that day but called back the next day and told him I had changed my mind. I went in for an ultrasound last Friday and sure enough my placenta is in front. I am not feeling very much movement from the baby and that is because it is kicking my placenta and not my stomach. I hate that as I really wanted to savor everything about this pregnancy as I am sure it will be my last. Maybe my placenta will move. I asked if they could tell what I was having and the technician told me she thought she knew but when she went back to look again she couldn't prove it. She told me what she thinks I am having and I have told Mike and two other people besides the boys. We are going to wait until I go in Feb and have another one done to see if they can tell us for sure what we are having and then we will tell everyone. I really don't have a preference I just pray for a healthy baby that we can love on and bring into our family. I can't wait to see the boys with a baby as they are so good w/ the younger kids in our neighborhood.

I need to get dinner started-my family thinks that they have to eat dinner EVERY night for some reason. Oh well, tomorrow is Conner's birthday so we will go out for his birthday dinner and give me a reason not to cook.

God Bless

Check out my Slide Show!