Visitation

Today we have family visitation for my Grandmother from 12-2. Last night all of the kids and grandkids were there and it hit me how much we had missed out on over the years by not getting together before Grandma died. We live in such a fast paced world and family dynamics are so strange as it is that we allow these things to get in our way and rob us of precious memories that we could be making. Seize the moment for you don't know when the moment will come again. I encourage everyone to forgive the hurts of the past with family members and remember that God chose thier DNA to create you and even if you think someone else would have made a better parent remember God has the perfect blue prints for your life and lean not on your own understanding. I saw my father broken leaning over my grandmother and filled with so much sorrow. I have to think that he has some regret that he wasn't able to stop drinking while she was alive, addiction is such a powerful thing, I know as I struggle with compulsive overeating in the same way that an alcoholic does with alcohol. I guess that what I am saying is turn it over to God, make him the focus of your life, I know it is very hard to do but after seeing my father so broken I don't want to be that person, I don't want to be laying over the ones I love when they have passed wishing I could have done something or been someone different. All of these things seem so good but are so hard to really practice but I vow to do my best to remember to put God first and go to him with my hurt and let him heal me in ways that food cannot.

GRANDMA IS GONE

Grandma is gone. I got to the Hospice Hospital today to find out that my grandmother passed away this morning. I really didn't think she was going to make it through the weekend but it is still hard to believe that she is no longer here on Earth. She looked so peaceful and at rest. I knew last night that she was telling my Grandfather goodbye when we were there but I didn't know if he realized that was what she was doing at the time or not. In retrospect, he said that he does think that was what she was doing. It is so hard to believe that she is gone. This is the first time that I have ever witnessed the actual death process. I know she is in Heaven and that is in longer in any pain. I am so glad that I have the peace of knowing of Heaven it really helps.

I Can Only Imagine

I listened to the song I Can Only Imagine on my way into work this morning. With my trip to visit my Grandmother who is in a Hospice Hospital waiting to go home to God quickly approaching it really made me think. If you stop and think for a moment can you really imagine, I mean REALLY imagine what it will be like to be in the Kingdom of God? I can't seem to get my human mind around it. Will you stand in awe? Will you fall to your knees? Will you praise him? (Or will you stand thinking of all the choices you which you would have made differently?) I am devestated over the pending loss of my grandmother and the whole death process in general BUT even through all the hurt, I know that GOD has a plan and that he has perfect timing and this gives me peace. I can't imagine how people who don't know the Lord's plan for thier life get by on a day to day basis, it seems it would make every day problems seem momumental. When I get to Heaven I want to know that I have spread the word of God to everyone that I had the opportunity to. I want everyone to be able to experience the peace and love that I have in my life today. Can you only imagine??

New to Blogger World

This is my very first post so here it goes....I noticed that many people from my church, Smyrna First Baptist had blogs. My friend JaNeil and I talked about creating a blog and decided that we didn't have enough to talk about. I spent the weekend reading other peoples blogs and decided that I have as much to share with the world as they do. Well, maybe not really but it will be a good way for friends and family to pop in and see how the Sallee family is doing. It might also be a great way to share my faith, do some self-discovery or on a more selfish side, promote the Photography business that JaNeil and I are trying to launch. (I guess I need to get some pictures posted) I am excited about this world of blogging-is that the proper term? I saw in the set up that there were examples of Blogger language but as is typical of my, I was to excited to start and didn't take time to read the directions.

I am flying to visit my Granmother this Friday who is terminally ill. I am not looking forward to going back as there will be many emotions that are sure to come to surface that I don't really want to face. I have to switch planes in Memphis and am not real fond of flying so that is the icing on the cake. I have decided however that I am going to have to faith rest it and know that God is in control in this situation. He has given me great peace in order to deal with my Grandmothers pending death. I really don't understand how people that do not know God or believe that he has a plan for thier lives survive. Life is to hard to deal with on your own it is much easier to lean on the word of God.

I really need to get back to work, but I thought I would give this a try. I will have to post more from home when I am not getting paid to work..... until then..