You want to go on a what????

Ironically I posted this morning I posted on here about how God has entrusted us with little eternal souls clothed in human bodies and how we only get so many chances to guide them in the right way because either life is fragile and can be taken or because they grow up so quickly and aren't as easily influenced as they use to be.

I think I will ponder the last part of that sentance for awhile. Last week my 11 year old almost 12 year old got in the car after school and said Mom guess what a week from tomorrow is? I told him it would be Friday he said no guess mom guess. I had no clue. He then filled me in that it was him and Kimmys 3 month anniversary. WHAT? It seems like just yesterday I was helping him change his poopy diaper. (Oh how he would kill me if he knew I posted that on the internet for the whole world to read. I am so uncool) Then tonight he got a call from a boy who said that his mom told him he could take three kids to the movie tomorrow. The little boy is inviting his girlfriend, Trey and Trey's girlfriend. The mother is going to take them and stay the whole time just a few rows behind. So would this be his first date?? I have arranged to get off work early so that I can get home and get him to the meeting spot by the designated time. I can't wait to get a glimpse of my future daughter inlaw as I haven't met her yet :) I just can't believe how quickly he is growing up. Part of me wants him to hurry up and grow up and get past this preteen with a mouth that likes to question every thing I say or do stage and part of me wants to grab him and hold him and keep him frozen in time. I realized listening to the CD this morning that Trey has already lived w/ me for longer then he has left to live with me. I guess that is taking into account that I don't plan on him living at home at 22. It just takes a minute for them to grow up and as they said on the cd this morning the older they get the less influence we have on them so it is so important to start instilling good values in them at an early age because before you know it they will be sharing a tub of popcorn in a movie theater w/ thier first love.

It is going to be an interesting next couple of years....

Children blessings from God

Ok I had to blog this as soon as I heard it. I am at work and really shouldn't be doing this but this was on my heart so I am going to try to get as many complete thoughts down as quickly as I can. I am sure this will be a to be continued blog. A friend gave me a CD from a church that her husband attends. I don't know the name of the church as I didn't look at the CD that closely I just know it is in Brentwood. I wasn't sure what the sermon was about but decided since she wanted to share it I would listen to it on the way into work today. It was on grattitude. I haven't finished the whole thing but the part that I have heard was very heavy on my heart. The pastor starts out by talking about how when God gives you a child he gives you an eternal soul in a human body. WOW I had never thought of my kids that way. He goes on to say how our children are like clay that can be shaped and formed. He said that outside of God and free will we are the greatest influence on our children and what direction thier lives will take. He mentions that because God knows we will make mistakes with our kids he created them like a lump of clay they are pliable and can be shaped and reshaped. This is easier in the beginning but as our children get older the clay starts getting harder and it isn't so easy to erase the mistakes of parenting. He talks about how when they are 2 you can shape and reshape but as they get to be 9 the clay is getting stiffer and when they are in college it takes alot of hard work and maybe a therapist hammering the clay to reshape it. He said something that struck me-he mentioned that because God gives us so many chances many people forget that their chances aren't unlimitless. God only grants us so many FREE PASSES and we never know how long or short our time on earth will be or our childrens time on earth may be. It is so easy to get caught up in LIFE that even though we don't forget what our true purpose is with our kids we may not make that the for front of every day....He said many great things in this sermon but another thing that he said was how important it is for our Children to know that they came from SOMEONE and that they are going back to that SOMEONE and that during thier time on earth they are here to please that someone and glorify him. He mentioned that he wanted to raise his kids to know that God loves them more than he does and that God is perfect so if he loves them then they must be worthy of loving and he wants to make sure that his kids believe that they are worthy of love because a perfect God loves them. Wow if EVERY parent could instill that seemingly simple message in each childs life what a near perfect world this would be. So many problems come out of not loving our selves or not feeling worthy...I know I have taught my children about God but I am ashamed to admit that I realize I have just touched the surface. I am not sure I have ever told them God loves them more than I do or to make sure they are making God proud. I have said things that were near to that point but not directly in that matter. WE need to be direct because as he said God only gives so many FREE PASSES.

He went on to tell about a time a man complimented him on his sermon and he said thank you and changed the subject back to the man and his family and this man stopped him and said you just insulted me. I was trying to give you a compliment and you didn't recieve it. I don't know what to do with that. Is it because you don't feel like you are worthy or you don't feel like I was being honest. What is it. He talked about how important it is to recieve with grattitude the gifts people give us even if it is just a compliment.

WOW I haven't even listened to 30 minutes of this..I can't wait to drive home today to listen to the rest and am sure I will have more to share.

Just something to think about....

That's my boy!!!!

Today is saturday at that means basketball at the Sallee house. Trey didn't play today as he is feeling under the weather. Conner just got done playing and what a game!!!! His team had not won a game yet but today they won 20-10. Conner scored 18 of the points. I was so proud of him. Not only because he scored so much but he looked so good playing. He had several steals and several fakes that were awesome. He looked like a little pro. Then it hit me......Conner is able to play basketball because of God. God has given him the health, talent and ability. Without God granting him this he might not be able to play at all. I took this opportunity to talk to Conner and remind him that he didn't play so good because of anything that his human self did rather it was all because God allowed him to. I reminded him that God was behind everything and that noone liked a cocky player (or cocky mom) and that it was very important to be humble and gracious. I told him that he needed to remember to thank-God for giving him the good health and for allowing him to play. I was glad that I got the opportunity to talk to Conner about this. We learn lessons every day from God and some days it is not fun to learn those lessons...I must say that I didn't mind learning this lesson today and am thankful that God let Conner have a great game as it was fun to watch...and it was fun to watch his dad coaching from the sidelines. We were both grinning from ear to ear.

Now....about the whole puppy thing. The boys have decided to name him Buster. I was afraid that I wouldn't love him and that we were jumping the gun getting him but I am quickly falling in love with him. Even though he is trying to eat the laptop as I speak. The first day he got up every two hours in the middle of the night but last night he slept about 4 hours at a time. I am quickly reminded of how hard it is going to be to get up with the baby when it gets here. But I guess this is good practice.....

The newest member of the Sallee family

Please Pray

I am asking all of you to please pray for a little boy I do not know yet his family has been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I was asked by our Sunday School class about three months ago to pray for this little boy and his family. WWW.Carepages.com you have to sign in and then visit the care page chaserdonell

This little boy's family has ben told that he has about 4 weeks to live they are saying that they can't do anything more for him. I read the carepage his mom wrote a couple of days ago in it she wrote about how Chase asked her to crawl in bed with him and how he told her he wished noone had to die. She told him if you lived your life for God you shouldn't be afraid to die because there was only happiness there. He told his mom that he would get to see his grandma, his uncle and his dog. He told her he knew he was going to Heaven and not down there and that there sure were alot of mean people here on earth. He went on to say he wished the devil would trip on his pitchfork and it would stab him and kill him so he would leave his family alone. I just can't imagine having this conversation with my children. I can't imagine how you get through something like that. I know that God has a plan for this family and that this will serve a purpose. I do know that but it still breaks my heart. Please pray for Chase Donnell and his family. Pray for good health for your own families-I know I sure will.

Lawn Decorations

Here is a picture of the boys infront of one of our Christmas Lawn decorations

The house is too quiet

We have something going on just about every night of the week. Tonight is my oldest sons basketball practice and I decided not to go. This is unusual for me as I usually go to all of thier practices. I have been sitting here for the last hour and a half realizing that I don't know what to do when my house is quiet. I seldom have the house to myself and am not sure I am comfortable having down time. Interesting that sometimes we get so tired of being so busy and yet that is realy where our comfort zone is. I have been catching up on reading blogs tonight. Please pray for Chase Donnell I don't know this family but was sent a prayer request a while back and have been reading his care page-chaserdonnell. It sounds as if the doctors have said there is nothing more that can be done for this little 10 year old boy. His mother posts on the care page and is a pillar of strength she said she is holding onto her mustard seed. I can't imagine hearing those words-there is nothing else we can do. How must a mother feel? I have always been so afraid that God will test me in that area as that is the one area that I struggle with. I know my children belong to him but I can't imagine having to give them up. For those of you that know that Conner has had some undiagnosed heart issues over the past year you know how worried I have been about that. He has worn a heart monitor but never seems ot have the episodes when he is wearing them. I have really struggled with worrying about him now that Basketball has started. I see him running up and down the court and half expect him to pass out. I have really had to remember that if God wanted to take him he could take him anywhere it wouldn't have to be a phsyical activity. I then read the blogs of mothers that are loosing thier children and they seem to have such faith and be so strong. I pray for all the mothers that are struggling with children's illnesses. I pray that God will bless my family with good health including my unborn child. I praise God for the family that he has blessed me with.
I count the minutes until they all return from basketball practice and I pray that when they start fighting five minutes after walking in the door that I will remember how much I missed them this evening when the house was so quiet. A good friend gave me a plaque that says God grant me patience to deal with my blessings. Can anyone else relate????

What is the Buzz about

I had to do a quick post about being a bzz agent. I decided to do this about a month or two ago and love it. You get sent samples sent to you and you get to keep them it is free and all you have to do is tell people about what they sent you and get feedback and post it in an email to your buzz agent. I am only beginning this and have done three campaigns so far and today I got a sonic toothbrush electric in the mail. It is so cool. It came w/ a charger, a toothbrush, the tooth brush head and it even has a UV chamber to clean your toothbrush afterwards and it was all free...Go to www.BZZAGENT.com and sign up. You have to complete just a few of the surveys and then it takes a week or two before you get your first campaign.

I love this.

Memories from KS

This is a picture of the bridge where Mike proposed. The bridge looks the same but Mike and I have sure changed.
The boys think this car of my Grandmothers is the bomb. They love it and beg to ride in it. I think she got it in the 80's and it doesn't even have 50,000 miles on it....

THANKSGIVING SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR

I am taking a break from helping my husband put up Christmas lights to post this. We like to decorate for the holiday and I am so thankful that our neighbors do to. It makes it so much fun. Our neighbors moved in around the holidays and I will never forget my husband coming in and saying we will get along great they are out there hanging christmas lights.

We took a much needed week off and went to KS and spent Thanksgiving with our family. This was the first time in 13 years we have gotten to do that. While we were there we got to visit some of our childhood hangouts. Funny how you embelish things in your memory. We had so much fun taking the kids to visit and do the things we did when we were growing up in KS. We took them to see our elementary schools, where we both lived as children, the town that we went to college in, where we got married and we had them take a picutre of us on the bridge that Mike proposed to me at. I don't know if the kids enjoyed it as much as we did but they at least acted like they were interested. It was fun to be able to share a little bit of our history with our children. I think I enjoyed sharing with them as much as I enjoyed seeing our family. I am going to make a slide show of our trip and post it. I am so thankful for the family God has blessed me with.

So Sad....

Today has been a very hard day. I could not stop crying. I keep thinking I see Bailey out of the corner of my eye. I didn't realize how much I would miss her paws clicking on the hardwood. I had no idea that I would be this sad. My oldest son is grieving outwardly the most and my husband can't talk about Bailey yet. Funny how we all grieve in different ways. I miss that silly old dog so much. She was so faithful and always sat with me while we watched tv. Last night in bed if felt funny not having to move my feet so that she could lay down. I know that God will help heal us all in time I just wish we were already at that point. I had an email sent to me today that I wanted to share on here...

Our dog is gone...............

We made the difficult decision to put our dog Bailey to sleep today. I have had her for 16 years. My husband gave her to me before he was even my husband. She was such a good dog even when we weren't all that good to her. Before children she was our everything after having kids she kind of got pushed to the back burner but yet she was always faithful and good to us. This past year she really started having a hard time walking. It got worse over the last couple of weeks. We took her to the vet last week and they gave us medicine for her that made her very sick to her stomach and she started making messes all over the house. Today when I got home from work she was laying in a mess and just shaking like crazy. We agreed that although she might stop making messes the quality of life she was living was not good and we wanted better for her.

The hardest thing I have done so far is telling my kids we were going to do this. They made the decision to be in the room with her.It was very quick and she just went to sleep but Trey started screaming and crying for her. I wanted to say wait stop we don't want to do this but it was to late. I know in my heart she didn't have much of a life any more but at least she was still here. The hardest thing is that I have never seen my husband cry in 17 years and tonight I saw him cry several times. That broke me. Trey my oldest is really having a hard time tonight as is my husband. I hate seeing them so broken...I wish we would have never have had to make this decision. I prayed for God to just take her and I was a little mad that he didn't but I know he had a plan and there was a reason that we had to go through that....

Please pray for all my boys...............

God is soo soo good

I just had to sing the praises of our Heavenly Father. Our God is so good. I feel so close to him right now and am going to try to always make time for him daily so that I will continue to feel close to him. I am starting to really see him as a Heavenly Father and not just some supreme being. I am so blessed to be his child and that he loves me from above. I went to a wonderful womans retreat by Tina Hutchinson who let me say has the most amazing gift and is going to be as well known as Beth Moore before long. I was surrounded by hurting woman and it made me realize how wonderful God has been to my family. I have a great husband, two great children with another one on the way. I have a good job and a nice house. I am so blessed. My problem is I start thinkging what is going to go wrong instead of just enjoying this season that God has blessed me with. I am going to start working on enjoying the hear and now and not waiting for the other shoe to fall. I had nothing profound to say I just wanted to world to know our Father is Good Always.

I asked and God answered

I had to share this amazing story with everyone. About two months ago I started thinking I wanted another child. Then I would convince myself I didn't. I use to pray that God would allow me to get pregnant or take away the desire. After Sunday school one day I started praying that God would talk to me in a way that I could understand. I had always heard people say that God spoke to them and I wanted to hear that. I posted about this in the past. Let me back up by saying often on my way to work I would be praying and need confirmation of something and I would see a deer. I use to say God sent me deer when I needed to be aware of his prescense. I didn't know then that he was speaking to me through them. Ok back to the present about a month and a half ago I was on a walk with my husband and I was praying that he would let us discuss the idea of having another child. I totally put it in Gods hands and was ok with not having one or having one I just wanted the decision to be made. I was praying that Mike would give me an answer and as soon as I finished praying silently..Mike turned to me and said lets try to have another one. The next day on the way to work I was praying to God and telling him now I wasn't so sure that I wanted one but that whateve journey he took me on I would be delighted. I really wanted one but was scared at the same time. I was praying that God would direct me and as soon as I got finished I saw a momma deer and her THREE baby deer. I knew that stood for Trey, Conner and an unborn child. I smiled inside. Mike and I decided to try. I felt in Chicago that I was pregnant but knew that it was too soon to take a test. I went ahead and tried to take a test and it came back negative. The next day on the way to work I was praying to God and telling him I felt pregnant and could he please let me know if I was or not. I prayed and prayed and strained my eyes to see a deer. Suddenly I started laughing and said God you aren't going to send me a deer are you? Right then I looked to my left and there was a deer. I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant. I had to wait until this week to take a pregnancy test and actually I took 5 of them because I was in shock. Three came back positive because they were done early in the morning. I took two more that afternoon and they came back negative..even after I prayed that God would make just one more test come back positive adn the I would belive it. After they came back negative I went to the Dr and had blood drawn and it confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. I now know that God wasn't going to let any more of the tests come back positive as he had to have been so tired of me doubting him. I can see him up there now shaking his head saying WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?? I did take another one later this week and it is DEFINATE we are adding on to the Sallee family. Please praise the wonderful name of our Lord with me. He has given me this testimony to share with others. I now now he was speaking to me all along through the deer that he would send to me. Our God is such an awesome God and the fact that he would bless me with a child the first time I tried is truly amazing. I love my heavenly father so much. Please pray that this will be a good pregnancy and a healthy child and join with me as we watch and see what this child will grow up to be or do....

Love Lisa

Home again

We are back from Vacation. Let me tell you God is so good to us. We had a great flight on the way to Chicago and on the way back. We had wonderful weather. We were able to figure out the subway and the buses for the most part. There were two times that were a little scary. We realized that we were the only white people on the bus and that all the windows in all the buildings had bars on them. We had missed our stop and it was late on a saturday night. We had an 8oclock show to get to and ended up missing it but I called the theater and they were able to get us moved to a 10 oclock show. We had to ride the bus the whole entire route because it wasn't safe for us to get off anywhere and wait for another bus. I had a friend tell me prior to the trip that he was going to ask God to let me see what he wanted me to see and take me where he wanted me to go instead of me just seeing what I wanted to see. I prayed that prayer when we were lost and God opened my eyes to the fact that we are all his children no matter what we look like. I saw some very rough looking people on the bus but they were very friendly to us and helped us figure out where we needed to be going. I was thankful that God showed me that. I will write more about our trip later I just know that God is good and I thank him for our vacation.

Vacation

I am counting down the days until we get to go on vacation. I can't wait for my husband to see Chicago. I fell in love with it while I was there and I can't wait to see what he thinks about it. I have lined up some fun activities for us and I think that we are going to have a blast.

I have something in my personal life that I am struggling to make a decision with and I have decided to put it in God's hands. I am totally putting it in his hands and whatever he wants to do with it is fine with me I honestly feel like I can accept his answer for this question. I know that my God is a big God and can do some mighty big things. It is very freeing to let go and let God. I think this may be the first time in my life when I have said there it is God I have laid it all at your feet you do with it what you choose. I will keep you all posted on what it is and the answer to it at a later date.

Have a great night.

Quick blog-church sign I saw

I don't have time to blog as i am doing dishes, cooking dinner putting rollers in my hair and blogging all while trying to get my 8 year old ready for a ball game. I know alot of you can relate. Anyhow just wanted to share the church sign I saw on the way home from work today....drum roll please..... HE WHO ANGERS YOU CONTROLS YOU.


It just really hit me how true that is. There is such power in forgiveness...just wanted to share that food for thought.

Go to bed

I had to share the video below. I found it on a friend from Sunday Schools blog. This came right at the perfect time for me as I prepare the daily ritual of getting the kids to bed and hearing hey mommy about 15 times before I make it down stairs. I wouldn't change any of it for the world though. Thank-you for posting this video Jeanne.

My oldest boy

Have I mentioned how much I love the family that God has given me? My husband is so silly and good with the kids. He is always one of the only parents outside playing with all the kids. He likes to ride Conners scooter around and it cracks me up. He reminds me of Tom Hanks in big or like he is auditioning for the newest Adam Sadler movie. I had to share a picture of him being silly.

Today in SS we learned how God wants to speak to each of us. He knows how to speak to us so that only we can hear. I have never asked God to speak to me and yet I have wondered why I couldn't hear him. I have had prayers answered or felt led to make a decision but the only time I know without a doubt that he spoke to me was when my Grandmother Kasparek was in the hospice hospital dying. I went into the bathroom in the hallway and got on my knees and just prayed that God would show me that he was there and watching over all of us. I know he spoke to me and said that he would carry us all through this ordeal and i think that is why I felt so peaceful with her death.

I am going to ask God to speak to me more often. Instead of just asking for answered prayers and am going to try to have a more intimate relationship with my heavenly father because I know he wants to speak to me and is just waiting for me to ask him. Why do some of the most obvious things take me so long to learn??

French Doors

I have always wanted to have French doors in my home. I couldn't have them in my home in Nashville because they would have had to do too much construction to add them. As long as I have lived in this house the sliding door has been fogged up and you couldn't really see outside. Now we have been blessed with French doors and it lets in so much light. I love the home that the Lord has blessed me with and I love my new doors. I loved sitting in the living room and looking outside and seeing the rain hit the pool and then the sun come back out.

God is good

I just want to send a great big shout out that God is good. I am continously amazed by the work he is doing in my life. I am so in love with the life he has blessed me with. I am head over heels in love with my husband and I have two really cool kids that make me laugh daily. I am looking forward to this weekend. Conner has his first base ball game of fall ball and then we are having some couples over for dinner. It is going to be a wonderful weekend and I just thank God for the opportunity to enjoy it.

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Labor Day

What a great weekend God blessed us with this weekend. We went camping with some friends and had the most wonderful time. My favorite thing was watching the kids play outside and get filthy and just have a great time. Camping is so relaxing to me and I am so glad that Mike and I both like to camp. It gives our family something fun to do together. Life kind of stands still for the weekend and we get to really enjoy each other, act silly and play. This weekend was all of that and more. I just really felt connected to my husband and my kids this weekend and am so thankful that the Lord gave us the opportunity to share this wonderful weather and time with our family and friends

God is Good

God is so good. As I set here reflecting on the day and all the things that went wrong or put me in a bad mood, I am reminded that God is always a good God. A good friend of mine made me a tile that says, God give me the patience to deal with my blessings. That is so true. I get frusturated that my house is dirty sometimes, at least I have a house, my kids and I disagree sometimes, at least I can have kids. People at work drive me nuts, at least God has blessed me with a job. You get the idea.I just feel so thank-ful tonight for everything that God has given me. My heart is really feeling full right now kind of bursting at the seams and I can't put my finger on the reason.

I have been going to church on Wednesday nights and that just really helps keep me centered. My oldest son is liking it mainly because he can skate board after wards but HEY whatever it takes to keep him interested right? My youngest son doesn't like it as much but I am seeing him meet more and more kids his age and really coming into his own circle of friends instead of hanging with his brothers friends. It is neat to see them grow into young adults-I am so very proud of both of them.

I have lost 24 lbs and went shopping yesterday-it was so much fun. I want to loose about 45 more pounds. I can do it. I probably should have lost more then 24 by now but I am not being as hard on myself on the weekends. i figure that I have to make it fit my lifestyle if I am going to continue with it w/out being bored or wanting to quit. On the weekends I might eat just a little bit more than usual-sometimes I stick to the plan religiously on the weekend it just depends on what my body wants or needs at the time. So far this has not ever resulted in a gain on Monday just a maintain so I am happy with that. I am feeling so much better about myself and am really proud of myself as well.

All the glory to God to helping me stick to this program, like I said...God is good

Watch out for that deer.....

Yesterday my husband called me and told me that he had been stopped at a stop sign and a deer just ran into the side of his truck really causing some damage. I usually would get upset about something like this but I just prayed to God that we would be able to get it fixed and that everything would fall into place. We were just very lucky that noone was hurt. I can't fathom getting a phone call at work saying that my husband or children were in the hospital. (I guess if I think back to the bus crash in July I can kind of remember-see earlier posts) Anyhow it just really made me reflect on how lucky I am to have the children and husband that I do. My husband is not perfect but he is such a good person. He is very giving and patient and sorry ladies he is very much taken. We have our moments but in all I really do appreciate our differences and think that is what makes US work. Thank-you God for giving him to me.

Here is a shout out praise for our mighty king. My oldest was dreading going to church tonight-he isn't into the whole Wed night thing. BUT when we got done he was already talking about next week, now he wasn't really talking about studying with his group next week rather the skate boarding that takes place outside after church but I figure whatever it takes to get him there he is bound to learn and grow while attending.

I love our church and that they have so many different things for the youth. It is really cool seeing Trey getting involved in the middle school. Our church really puts an emphasis on that age and I am so glad as I think it is a critical age. They have a real cool hangout now and it is fun seein Trey involving as a teenager right before my eyes.

I love my family God Thank-you Thank-you Thank-you for them.

School Time

School time is here. I can't believe that I have a middle schooler. Where has the time gone? For the first time in a long time I wanted to keep Trey home and keep him close to me. As I watched him get ready for school taking pride in his long hair and "Hip" clothes I saw how naive he really was. He thinks he has all the answers and I know that this is when things are going to start changing for him. People will start becoming popular and friends may start to change. Trey has been blessed to have a really tight knit group of friend since Kindergarten. Kids that I hope that he will stay with all his friends throughout highschool. I am sure this is the year where he realized that he doesn't know it all and that he will change tremendously. He is growing up so fast.

Conner is awesome. I am so proud of him. He was fine going to school for the first time without his older brother. Conner is so laid back and so sure of himself and I love that about him.

Last night Mike and I went out side several times looking for the meteor shower that was supposed to be. Talk about being overwhelmed by our Lord. We were out on the deck in lawn chairs at 2:30AM just watching all of the stars twinkle. It is amazing to know that God knows where each and every one of those stars is. He knew which ones would twinkle and which ones would stay put. I felt so connected to Mike and God laying out on the deck in the middle of the night. It was very peaceful. This was
Just a quick update, I will post more later. i have lost 20lbs on my diet since July 9th. I am loving it and thank God for the courage to stick to it. I am loving it and feeling so much better about myself. I still have 53 more to go but know that I am headed in the right direction and that God will remove temptation and keep me going forward.

God Bless you

Reconnecting

Has it really been this long since I have posted anything? Time has just gotten away from me. We were so busy with Conners travel ball and having practice every night of the week and then tournaments on the weekend that it was all a little overwhelming.

A dear friend of mine kept the boys last night and Mike and I had a date night. We really had nothing planned but we went out to dinner and then drove to Cedars of Lebanon a campground we hadn't been to in a while. We were disappointed that we didn't think of that earlier as we would have liked to have pulled the camper up there and gone camping all by ourselves for one night. We drove around the park and then went to the Prime outlets of lebanon and just walked around. it is amazing how carefree you feel when you have no kids. We woke up this morning and just laid in bed talking and watching silly tv shows. It was so nice just to have a change from the same ol same ol. My house is so quiet which is why I am able to post this right now...The boys have taken over both computers it seems when they are home. I guess this is a sign of them growing up.

We are going on a spontaneous trip to Chicago in October. We werent' going to go on a vacation but SW had great deals on travel and I convinced mike to let us go for four days. I am really excited as I fell in love with that City when I went in June with Trey. This will be so nice and relaxing compared to the last trip. I can't wait..

And my world stood still

I can now understand the true meaning of the saying my world stood still. Yesterday afternoon I got a call from a very dear friend of mine letting me know that the bus that was taking Trey and 59 other students from our church to camp in Kentucky had collided with a 18 Wheeler and that the interstate had been closed down. This particular friend is a very sturdy person kind of a rock and when she first called I realized she was crying and I knew it was bad. It was only 15 minutes or so before I heard that all the kids were ok but it wasn't until I got home and watched the news and saw Trey on T.V. that I really felt he was ok. I know that God has only given us these children to borrow for awhile to teach them about our Lord and the plan that he has for our lives but you NEVER want to think about your children being hurt. It is amazing how stressed out I can get with the kids sometimes and really want them to go away for awhile and then when something like that happens you realize you never want them to go. I heard the saying one time :God please give me the patience to deal with my blessings. I always think that applies to me and my children.

I can't wait for Trey to get home so I can give him a really big hug and tell him how much I love him. I am so glad that he went to camp and is learning how to start his day with quiet time just like Jesus did. I can't wait to hear about his experience. On a side note I was so frusturated with myself that I didn't stop to Pray when I found out about the wreck I pretty much just lost control and didn't think about God until a friend grabbed me and told me to pray. I can't believe that I didnt think of that first.

Let this be a lesson to me and my family to always tell each other that we love eafch other prior to leaving the house and remember that when the kids are fighting at least they are both there to fight with each other.

God Bless

A NEW START

First a quick update on Trey. Friday morning two of his stitches came out. The Dr. said that it was ok though that he would be ok and it would be fine for him to go on to Centri Kid Camp on Monday. He leaves tomorrow and will be gone until Friday. I am a little nervous as it is about 4 hours away. I didn't realize it was so far away when I signed him up.

I have started a new diet and am going to use this blog as an accountablity partner. Actually it is a new life style as I am going to be re programming the way I think about food as well. I have started Medi Fast. They sent me five weeks worth of food and I started it today. The program is very simple. You eat 6 small meals a day no more than 2 hours apart. You eat five of thier meals and then one of your own lean and green meal which consists of 5-7 ounces of meet depending on how lean the meat you choose is and 3 cups of vegetables. Today I had a choc shake, bannana pudding, cream of brocoli soup, a carmel nut bar and two vegetarian boca burgers with a tsp of ketchup and a tablespoon of mustart and three cups of lettuce with cucumbers, celery and radishes in it. I will have a vanilla shake later this evening. I think I will have consumed 800 calories which is thousands less then what I normally consume. They say the first three days are the hardest adn that you might not feel good at first but so far today I feel great. I think this program will take the importance off of food for me. Right now I live to eat and I am hoping this will teach me to eat to live. Today at church we were talking about love and we visited 1 Corinthians. I noticed several verses that seemed to hit me today and I am going to put them here so that I can remember them. The first one is 1 Corinthians 6:13-15
The bible says. Foos is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord but will also raise us up through his power. do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of christ and make them members of a prositute? May it never be.

It hit me that my body has been a prostitute to food for many years now and that it is time to make a change. I also read 1 Corinithians 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God adn that you are not your own?

Our bodies were given to us by Christ to help glorify him. I am not using my body to glorify Christ when I let myself get so fat that I am ashamed to go to work, that I am embarrassed to go to Church, that I let it hold me back from serving in the areas in church that I feel called to serve in. I am not gloriying Christ with my body when I am ashamed to show it to my husband and withdrawl from him intimately. I am sinning by over eating and staying fat. It is time that I make a change that I get my body into the shape that will allow me to use it as a temple that will allow me to glorify Christ.

I am very excited about this venture. I am very scared of failing and doing so by publically putting this on my blog but I feel called to do so and know that I might be able to help others through this process as well. I only hope that tomorrow and the days that follow will be as easy as today was. I know there will be challenges but I must remmber that the Lord is my ROCK.....The Lord can fill me in ways that a snickers bar can never fill me. All the fattening foods do is help fill my jeans it does nothing for my spiritual self. So that is where I am now....someting to think about huh?

God Bless you

Tooth Fairy JackPot

Well, we just got back from the hospital having Trey's seven teeth removed. I have never been prouder of him. He was so afraid and cried before we left the house and then cried right before they took him back but we prayed and I told him God would be with him. He told me he didn't feel him and it broke my heart but I promised Trey that he would be able to feel him when he needed him the most. He dried his tears and went with the nurse with his head held high. As a mother this was one of my hardest days. I had no doubt that he was going to be ok but knowing how afraid he was and how much pain he would soon be in and not being able to take that away from him and not being able to heal him broke my heart. I feel it is my job to protect my kids and I wasn't able to protect him BUT when they let me go see him in recovery he said I love you and reached for me and then he told me he had prayed right before he went to sleep. I was so proud of him. What great children God has blessed me with. Seeing Trey confront his fears today the way he did really made me see what a wonderful young man he is turning in to.

He was so high from the anthestigia and it was a little scary. He had such a far away look in his eyes adn was saying some really crazy things. I called Mike and asked him to come home from work. Not because I didn't think Trey would be ok but because Trey was so different from the person I knew that I wasn't sure how to handle him. He tried to eat some ice cream and ended up wiping it all over his forhead and his hair. He started crying because the stuff made him feel so weird and he has gauze all over in his mouth and so he can't talk and he was very very frusturated. Conner asked me how long he was going to be like that and was so sweet to his brother. He helped him with his icee and when I was feeding Trey so that it would get in his mouth and not his hair, Conner stood behind him rubbing his shoulders and playing with his hair. Conner later told me it was kind of scary seeing Trey that way. If only they could be that sweet to each other all the time but then i guess we wouldn't appreciate the moments they were that way so much.

I am going to go change his gauze but wanted to post an update as i know we have family that uses this to keep in touch.

God bless you

My Blog is rated G

Mingle² - Online Dating

Who knew that you could rate a blog? Mine was rated G even though apparently it has the word drugs listed one time. I will have to go back and read all my blogs to find out where that is. I sent Trey off to 4-H camp this morning and I didn't cry. At first I felt guilty not crying because I thought it was just because of his preteen talking back and smart mouth that I would not miss him but I realized later it is because I know that we do need a break from each other from time to time and how nice it will be to welcome him back on Friday.

I took Conner to the cardiologist and she is not sure what to tell us. She told us next time his heart races we need to get him to the hospital or a fire station and see if they can get a recording for her because we need to send the monitor back. Not sure what to think about that but I know Conner won't miss the monitor.

I thought conner and i would hang out in the pool all day but God had different plans. We got the much needed rain so we stayed in and just chilled. We did go out to eat lunch and i enjoyed being with him.I wasn't rushed to get anywhere and we just sat there and talked and I realized I was able to REALLY listen to him which I don't do very well very often because it seems we are always rushed to get somewhere. I like the person that I was to do much better. I seem to always be so much more relaxed when I have the day off. I do regret that I have to work for a living although i work for an amazing lady and a wonderful company. I often think if I didn't have to work i would be able to volunteer at vacation bible school and go to the different church functions and camps as a counselor and I think I would be so much happier and like the person i am so much better. Next time I will marry for money not love. JUST TEASING.
Timing is such a strong hold on me and I get so stressed out rushing from one thing to another even if it isn't really a rush I still feel like it is and get all bent out of shape. I don't really like that person but I am not sure how to change it. Maybe the photography will take off and i will be able to have the best of both worlds??

Braces

It feels like it has been forever since I last posted on this site. We have been so busy running from one thing to another it seems like. Between work, baseball and doctors appointments I am not sure if I am coming or going. We did go camping last weekend and had the most amazing time ever. It was the most I have felt relaxed in a long time. I haven't been to church since before Chicago due to our schedule and I have noticed I have alot of depression issues when I don't stay plugged into our church. I hope I get to go this weekend, it depends on when Conner plays travel ball. I wasn't real excited for him to play travel ball but him and Mike are having so much fun with Mike being a coach and Conner said he wanted to play as much as he can so I will support that.

I have the rest of the day off work today. Trey got his braces and his good friend Gant got braces today also so we picked up Gant after Trey got done and he is over here swimming and playing. I am going to sit on the couch and watch a movie and enjoy some me time.

Trey goes away to 4-H camp next week and Conner has his cardiologist appointment on Monday so please keep him in your prayers. We haven't been able to get a reading yet but have had one more episode where his heart was beating 145 beats per minute. Of course it was the one time I told him he didn't have to wear the monitor and we were away from home-go figure.

Trey has his 7 teeth pulled on July 5th-so keep that in mind also and pray that all goes well. He seems to be doing fine with his braces so far and it tickles me that him and Gant both got them the same day and seem so grown up now.....it is hard to believe.

That is it for now just wanted to do a quick update.

The Windy City

We made it back from Chicago about nine oclock last night. Boy am I tired. I got up and went to work and then came home and went back to bed and just got up a little while ago. Chicago was a beautiful city. I fell in love with all of the old buildings and the city life. I would encourage everyone to go visit there and want to plan a trip with my husband and kids to go back and see it on OUR schedule. We went through everything so fast that I have no idea what I actually saw. I was so busy counting boys heads to make sure that I didn't loose anyone that I really didn't have time to enjoy the museums and such. I did love the cruise down lake michigan, other than the pouring rain. We went to Millenium park and that was really pretty. I must say I am glad to be home and only watching after my two children. I was the only mom that got assigned other children to watch and I ended up having three boys that I was responsible for and that I had to room with. I learned more about farting, arm pit hair and other bodily functions then I ever had the desire to learn. There were thirty nine of us and most of them were girls. I never knew that eleven year old girls drank cappachino, we had to stop at every starbucks we saw. I was amazed by that. If Trey was remotely innocent before the trip I know he is not now. Those girls were very forward, wanting his phone number and taking all kinds of pictures. One girl even mooned another girl and they were showing the boys the picture until we put a stop to it. It left me wondering what I had really signed up for. I am not use to girls and their voice is so much higher then boys that it was really hard to be in a bus with lots of little drama queens for so long. The kids all got along really well and were just being girls and boys I just wasn't use to it. I could tell a big difference in the kids that had finished sixth grade and those that were getting ready to start sixth grade. That one year seems to make a big difference in maturity level. I don't know if I am ready for all of this. I failed to be a cool mom when I feel asleep on the bus ride home with my head over the arm rail going into the aisle. I woke up to find a boy taking a picture of me and all the kids snickering that I had fallen asleep and was snoring with my mouth open. (Sorry Trey, I really tried not to embarrass you). Almost all the kids were taller then me and that was a really weird feeling also. At one point, one of the dads grabbed me by the shoulders to move me off the curb and when he realized it was me he said I am so sorry, i just saw a little person standing there and didn't want you to get ran over. Gee Thanks. Rooming with three boys for four nights was quite an experience but it didn't compare to trying to get all the boys on and off the subway during rush hour Tuesday night when we went to the White Sox/Yankees game. Trey met alot of new friends and I noticed the little girls have text him several times today, Lord grant me patience. We had a wonderful time and I will post some pictures once I get the energy to load them up.

You Must Work at it............

Marriage is so hard. I was talking to a friend this weekend who is not married and he made the comment that he wasn't sure that he wanted to be. I told him it was worth it but mentioned that it was not easy and you had to work at it. I am having to remind myself of that today. I am constantly amazed at how different my husband and I. I love him very much and I know that he loves me but we are on different planets I think sometimes. My husband doesn't need affection and doesn't give it very freely. I on the other hand crave it and need it as a reminder that he loves me. I have come to realize sometimes the things that aren't needs to us we don't concentrate on. I really think that marriage isn't as much about what we need as it is about what the other person needs. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't as comfortable to us or that comes as naturally to us just because our spouse needs it. Men and women are wired so differently that I sometimes wonder why God made us that way. It seems like my girlfriends get me much better then my husband does. I really don't know what I want to say in this post other then that it is important that you learn each others love language and that you make a consious effort to incorporate their love language into your actions as well. We all show love and recieve love in different ways. My husband shows me he loves my by doing things around the house-installing new light fixtures and that type of thing BUT I don't see that as a sign of his love I see it as something that needs done. I show him I love him by kissing him and telling him but he sees that as being clingy and gooey. It is amazing how something that we all need so much of can be interperted in so many different ways.

All is quite and calm

I have the day off work tomorrow so I am staying up way later then I normally do. My husband and I are sitting on the couch while I type this and although we are not speaking i am really enjoying this together time with him just being alone in his prescence with no children right now is so refreshing. There is something about the quietness of night time that is really relaxing to me. My sister in law is undergoing Thyroid Cancer treatment and had to start her Radiation today and can't be around anyone for 48 hours and then she has to stay 6 ft apart from everyone for the next week. She is having a hard time so keep her in her prayers. i told her some people would change spots w/ her in a minute just to have life slow down for a moment and to get some peace and quiet. Isnt it sad how we can allow the little things in life to build up and drive us so crazy that we would trade places with someone with cancer just to have things slow down, just for the opportunity to not have anyone needing anything from you. To go to a place where noone has any expectations of you. We have got to learn to seek God and find peace in him. We have to take our issues to him before things get so out of hand. We have to remember that he is there for us and wants us to have peace but we must ask for it.

I get so stressed out at times and have to admit I have hoped i would get sick before, nothing serious just a cold just for the opportunity to be lazy and stay in bed. Why is it that we put so much pressure on ourselves that we won't relax until something forces us to relax. All of this went through my mind as i read my sister in laws blog and it has really made me think of how important it is to be good to yourself.

Who's in control here?

Today Trey had an orthodontist appointment he is going to get his braces on June 20th it is going to cost almost $5,000. and he has to have Seven teeth pulled in order to get the braces on and I have no idea how much that will cost. I was feeling overwhelmed tonight trying to figure out how to get to Conners Cardiologist appointments, Treys ortho appointments all the parent appointments for the different camps that Trey is going to this summer and concentrate on work when...all of a sudden I heard Conner screaming outside. I ran out there and Conner was laying on the ground with blood all over his face, he had tripped and hit the basket ball goal teeth first. He had the black basketball pole all over his teeth and the fall pushed two of his permanent teeth back and made them loose. We called the dentist who advised us to rush him to her office (for an emergency charge of course) She discovered it did push his teeth back and said that sometimes they will fix on thier own and sometimes they don't ( I thought of all the pictures that would be taken in the next few years) She mentioned he would be a candidate for braces and it would be fixed then-in a three or so years-until then deal with it I guess. While there she noticed an unusual bump in his mouth which was concerning to her so I have to take him back tomorrow which means more time off work. I often think how easy things would be if I didn't have to work and I truly believe that God didn't intend for women to work and be wifes and moms. I was starting to get really stressed out tonight worrying about the financial part of things as well as how much work will have to be missed to make all of this stuff fall into place-not to mention how sore Trey will be after having SEVEN teeth pulled. When all of a sudden I remembered that I am not in charge. GOD is in charge and he knows how all of this is going to work out and so I need to just relax and go along for the ride. I am blogging this so that when I get stressed out telling my boss I have to leave work early tomorrow I can just read this, breathe deep and remember that God is in charge and lean not on my own understanding....

God bless

Hand over the myrhh

Did you know that myrhh used to be used for stretch marks, athletes foot, bad breath, canker sores, chapped skin and to embalm bodies. Jesus was given Myrhh when he was born and he was taunted by myrhh upon the cross. We talked in class today how although bitter it carried healing qualities. Myrhh annoits the old us for burial that is what God wants to do he wants to bury the old and he wants that part dead. It can be be scary to part with the old but we have to trust God that he loves us enough to heal us no matter how scary it can be to put that trust in him. Natalie our wonderful SS school teacher mentioned how so many people run to alcohol, drugs, shopping or even run to food like myself when the going gets tough. Why is it so easy to run to these things and NOT run to our creator. I run to food but food has never promised to heal me, be there for me, make my dreams come true in fact it is the opposite food has promised to falsley satisfy me falsley make me feel better when it fact it harms me more times then not. God on the other hand already knows me better than anyone else, knows how many hairs on my head, knows how badly I want to run to food when the going gets tough. God has promised to deliver me from my additions and bad habits. God wants to see me fulfilled and happy all he is waiting for is for me to ask him. Why is it so hard to go to God? I think sometimes it is because you didn't have something as a child...maybe in my case a good relationship with my father, maybe it is because you think it is to good to be true? Natalie encouraged all of us to go to him today to ask him to bury the old us and annoint the new us. I am going to try to remember to go to God instead of the wordly things that I so often run to...

Just a thought..ps..check out www.landjphotography.blogspot.com we took pictures of Natalie and Phil Wilson this weekend and they turned out great.

Joel Osteen

I went to see Joel Osteen last night. It was fantastic. He talked alot about not limiting God and how we need to learn to SPEAK in a positive way. He talked alot about the power of speech. God knows I know HOW to talk but I am going to start really saying positive things such as...WE will SUCCEED with our photography business, I will overcome my battle against my weight, I am going to have the wonderful marriage God wants me to have. I realize how many times that I speak in a negative tone-God wants to bless us with everything but we limit him and what we think that he can do. From now on when the kids are getting on my last nerve I am going to Thank-God that I have kids that can get on my nerves. When my husband leaves his undwear on the floor instead of cringing I am going to thank God that I have someone to leave underwear around the house. I am going to change my way of thinking and SPEAKING and I know I am going to be very blessed because of it.

God Bless...

Stop Getting Older

Tonight was parent orientation for the middle school that Trey will go to. Yep...Middle School. I can't believe how grown up he is. When I walked the halls with him tonight I was so proud. He is so friendly and easy going and has so many friends that I know he is going to fit right in. He just looked like he belonged there. I can't believe that this is his last year at his elementary school. I think of all the times that I have just wanted to be left alone and know that time is coming but it won't be on my terms it will be on his. We stopped at the grocery store afterwards and I walked up to the counter and then a little bit later he walked up and put some milk up there. The woman asked if it was together or seperate. I answered that it was together and she mentioned that she hadn't been sure because he came up after me, I jokingly stated that was because he was at the age where it was no longer cool to be hanging around your mom but then I realized that probably was the truth...my little boy is all grown up. I am going with him to Chicago in 2.5 weeks for a fifth grade field trip. I am going to savor every moment of the time that we get to spend together and hope that somewhere among the 50 other people going with us and the 3 other boys that I am responsible for that we are able to bond a little and make life long memories. You can bet I will get some good pictures to post.. I see a slide show coming on soon.

Mothers Day

What a beautiful day God gave us today. The weather was perfect. Sunday school was magnificent as we sang old hyms and really praised God for forgiving us for our sin and taking our sin upon the cross. My oldest son made me a sweet valentines day card, my youngest son gave me a fabulous hug and my husband bought me a new digital camera to pursue my photography career. (I had to buy it but he encouraged me to hit the buy button) I swear I sat at the computer for three hours trying to decide if I was going to buy it or not. I have a really hard time buying things for myself. It was only when my oldest acted like he was going to bump in to me to force me to hit the buy button that I decided what the heck and did it. I can't wait to get it. We did a photo shoot yesterday and once we have permission to publish thier pictures we will get those on the L and J Photography blog spot. Check out our blog as I added some pictures from last summer tonight.

I have been working on a musical DVD of pictures for my mom and mother in law. It was a very emotional time as I wept as I looked through them. I miss my grandfather and my grandmother that have passed away so much but I also miss the person I use to be. I use to be so carefree and happy. I didn't realize how many pictures I use to take of myself with the boys. I haven't allowed my picture to be taken in the last 7 years and I realize what a disservice that is to my children. When I am gone they won't have any pictures to look at. I really want to be carefree again. I want to stop being the uptight person that I have become. I am going to CLAIM that for my life. I am going to CLAIM to be a beautiful, heathly happy mother, wife and daughter of the King. I am going to start saying positive things instead of negative things. I am going to CLAIM victory over the person that I could be if I refuse to change. I am going to enjoy my children, my husband. I am going to let the laundrey go. I am going to let the kids rough house inside ( As long as no blood is drawn) I am going to play with my kids instead of watching from the sidelines.

Watch out world.....Here I come.

Lets go to prison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, my internet has been down all weekend and I have made at least 30 calls to BellSouth since December so I am going to have to make this short since I am not at home posting this. In my Sunday School class this past week we had several ladies who had just been released from Prison over the last few weeks. I was amazed at how right those women are with the Lord. They seem to be so FREE and HONEST and ON FIRE for our GOD. I looked and listened to them and was unnerved at how I go to church all the time and I do my lessons and I pray but I don't seem to GET IT half as well as these women do. What I mean is I think they have been so broken and so low that they have no more fear and they are able to submit to our Lord with everything that they are. I told one of them after class that I needed to go to Prison so that I might come out as strong as they were. They told me they were thankful to have gone but that I didn't want to go. I think of the times that I wish I had a nicer house or lived in a nicer neighborhood or drove a fancier car or had the latest styles and then I thought about them and how one lady was overcome with joy because she had been approved for Section 8 housing. I am so ungrateful for the things the Lord has allowed me to have at times. I live in bondage of that. I prayed that God would give me a glimpse of what they had-but then I just as quickly prayed that if there was someway for me to learn this lesson without having to be broken then that would be great also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You see we often want to learn the lesson without having to DO the lesson and I am no different in that. Just something to think about.

God Bless

Girls Night Out

This weekend we had girls night out at Church. I am a self proclaimed hermit and don't usually go to things like this but I am really trying to get out of my comfort zone and participate. I always have fun when I get out and do things like this it is just getting me out that is the hard part. I had a blast. I don't know when the last time I laughed so hard was. I realized how long it has been since I have had girl time. I mean I get to talk to JaNeil at work and I work out with Rhonda and I have my neighbors that I get to see but I never really get to do girly things with them. I realized today that I use to be very girly and use to always have on the stylish clothes and always had my hair and make up on. I use to wear jewlery and use to laught with the girls-that was all before marriage and children. I realized thinking back that the last time I really did those things was before I got married. Somewhere during the last few years my role changed to mother and wife and I forgot that I was a girl. You know I don't really mean I forgot that I was a girl but what I mean is that the ME time just got pushed to the back burner. I buy clothes at Walmart now so that the boys can have the newest fad, I don't get my nails done because the upkeep takes time and money, I am too tired to do my hair and make up and so i often leave the house in a fashion that would get me arrested by the fashion police if they ever saw me. I find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more because of the duties assigned to being a wife/mother, it doesn't seem fair that we get to stay inside and clean while my husband gets to play outside with the boys, it doesn't seem fair that when people are hungry the wife has to figure out what to feed them. I realize though that noone in my family puts that stress on me, they don't care if the house is dirty, they don't care if the clothes are clean they would rather have me and I think that I would rather have them IF I also had some time to myself. Sometimes I think that I get very resentful and so I stay inside and clean while everyone is having fun so that maybe, maybe someone will say poor Lisa however noone says it and that is because they know I am making a choice NOT to come outside and play. I find myself being short with my kids, I find myself being short with my husband and I really think that is because I have lost a sense of who I am, who God wired me to be. God made me feminine, God designed me to be a woman. I decided tonight that I would make a better mom and wife if I would tap into some of that femine side, besides that our bodies are our temples and God wants me to take better care of myself then I do. I am going to make an EFFORT to be a woman as equally as I am a wife and mother, I am going to work on this and see if it can help stregthen all of my relationships as well. Just something to think about.


God Bless

They Are Growing Up..

I was talking to my oldest son today about all the things that are going to be going on near the end of the year that we need to get on our calendar. He has a final walk through the halls of his elementary school and a tour of the middle school that he will be going to. It finally hit me that he is not a little boy any more and the problems that we are going to face are going to get more and more challenging. I remember picking him up from preschool one day and him crying on the way home because he had a hole in the back of his levi shorts(I thought that was the style) and some kids had seen his underwear and laughed at him. I didn't know my heart could ever ache as much as it did when I realized I could not protect him from the world. I still remember his first full day of kindergarten, I rushed over to the school so excited to see how his first day went and when I got there and was leaving he just started crying and was mad at me because I had forgotten to pack a juice for him to have at snack time. I was devestated and felt like I had failed as a parent, little did I know that I was going to fail over and over and over again. I can only imagine what the next few years are going to bring. Whatever it brings I know that Trey is going to turn out just fine. I am very proud of Trey he has turned into a wonderful Christian young man. I thank God for him daily.


On a side note check out our new blog www.landjphotography.blogspot.com. Let us know what you think...

L & J Photography

What a great day. Today my friend Rhonda encouraged me to go back to Weight watchers so we went back and then afterwards we went running. We have agreed to a work out schedule and are going to stick to it.

The other thing that is wonderful is God. He is really opening some doors for JaNeil & I to pursue our photography hobby/career. We have learned how to make movies out of the pictures we take and put them to music and narrarate them. We are investing in some new equipment and have got some great ideas. Along with all of this is our new official photography blog. We are just getting it ready to launch but it will be ready soon and I will put a post on here with the blogsite. I can't wait to see what God is going to take us. DREAM BIG as NO DREAM IS TO BIG FOR OUR MIGHTY GOD

Country Music Marathon

Prayer Request

First of all I have to comment on the slide show I posted of the Country Music Marathon. The little boy that I have the caption it looks like his prayers were answered, he is the son of Rhonda my running partner. My friend Kelly got a picture of him at the beginning of the race lined up at the start line and he was praying. I wish I had this picture to add to my slide show but I don't so I just had to tell you about it. Isn't that awesome that at such a young age he would be brave enough to pray in public when he didn't have anyone he knew with him. He is a different age then all the other boys so he had to run by himself and he did AWESOME.

Now for the prayer request. Conner's heart monitor came in the mail today and it is a little more cumbersome then we would like. Don't get me wrong it is pretty discreet for a grown up but for an eight year old boy that never stops moving it is kind of a pain. Conner already pulled two of the leads off and is complaining that the pager device is so heavy that it pulls down his pants. Please pray that if he is going to have any more episodes that he will hurry and have one. As soon as we get one recorded then he gets to stop wearing this device. If he doesn't have one this month he has to wear it for another month. This is the worst time of year to have it because Conner loves to run around outside w/out a shirt on but he won't do that with his monitor on. He is a little nervous about kids from school seeing it. So, that is my prayer that he will hurry up and have a rapid heart beat that we can get recorded and then we can go to the dr and have them tell us it is nothing at all. Please join me in this prayer.....God Bless

13.1

Well, it is finally over and I finished it. The country music marathon is now a thing of the past. I will post pictures of Trey and his friends doing the last mile of the kids marathon as well as pictures of my friends as we embarked on our journey of 13.1 miles at 4:30 in the morning as soon as I am able to walk up the stairs without crying out in pain with each step.

I owe my friend Rhonda a HUGE thank-you as I am sure she wanted to slap me more then once during the race. She did an incredible job, I am sure my whining probably encouraged her to move faster to get away from me. I was doing great until mile 6 when I started to develop a huge blister on the bottom of my foot. By mile 9 I wasn't able to run at all and really was not even wanting to walk it. I wanted to quit so bad and only my pride and Rhonda kept me from throwing in the towel. I was very disappointed in myself for the way I performed but I did learn a few things. NEVER change anything on race day. I wore a visor which I had never trained with and it squeezed my head and gave me a horrible headache and I changed out the headset I wore and it was very hot, I opted for the old fashioned head sets instead of my ipod earbuds because my earbuds sometimes caused me to have ear infections. I also stopped for water each time and I don't think I should have done that.

I have decided to get back on weight watchers and complete a three mile run at least three times a week with weight training on the other two days. I have allowed myself to eat whatever whenever for the last few years and while that has been fun the results are horrific. I can't believe it is me when I look in the mirror and see the shape I have allowed myself to get into. I am serious about it this time and although it may not be fun to do without my favorite foods I know the result will be well worth it. I will probably journal alot of this ride on my blog so be ready to cheer me on and cry with me when I need it.

God Bless

My Inspiring Walls by Skip Hicks

Home is where your story begins

I am so excited..my friends husband came over this evening and put up vinyl wall lettering that says Home is where your story begins. I have seen that saying so many times in different arts and crafts stores and always loved it as a novelty saying but not until tonight did I stop to think what that really means. Home....that is where it all begins. The traditions that you start as a newly married couple are traditions that you hand down to your children and you got them from your parents. We can trace everything back to our home and our family. Sometimes I wonder what things my children will take with them as they leave our home and start thier own. I know what memories I hold dear but perception is everything and each person holds different things close to thier heart. Unfortunately, sometimes it is not just wonderful memories that you take with you. We get a mix of the junk that seems to sneak into our bags as we leave home without us noticing it until much later in life. There are so many things I want to change about myself and I see my oldest son modeling so many of those nervouse, naratic behaviors and it just kills me. He wears his feelings on his sleeve and is so tender hearted. He puts so much pressure on himself to be perfect and I for one know what that pressue can do to a person. I guess that we just have to be honest with our children as they get older and let them see some of the things that we have struggled with in life and hope that we can help them learn through our experiences. Just a thought....

God Bless

PS. I will post a picture of the wall lettering and if you like it I will tell you where you can order it. I LOVE MY WALL....

Just be silly

We had our God's Girls Sunday School party on Saturday. I was debating on wether or not to go because I really don't do well in social settings. I had a friend that was going to go with me but she backed out at the last minute. I was really stressing about going and if I would fit in or feel comfortable-I kind of felt like I was back in highschool for a moment. I ended up going and it was nice to get to know some people better and on a different level. As I watched some of the ladies they seemed so comfortable just going up to people they didn't know and talking to them. They felt so comfortable in a house they had never been to. I don't know what makes me different or what makes me feel so different than other people. I have never felt like a grown up although the mirror tells me I am. People were dressing up in silly costumes and having a pretend fashion show and seemed to really like it. I would have been terrified. When my mom comes down to visit she always takes everyone to ride go carts-everyone has a great time but me. I sit on the sidelines and watch, my mom tells me I need to learn how to have fun. How is that learned I ask you and why did everyone else learn it but me? Just something to think about.

On a different note, the 13.1 marathon is this Saturday. Pray for Rhonda and I as we have been really working hard(well up until April and then like ding dongs we decided to take it easy.) That wasn't a concious decision but with ball, pms and scheduling conflicts that is what happened and I don't feel nearly as prepared as I felt a month ago.

God Bless

Don't take it for granted

Gosh, God is really working on me this week to strive to be a better person and to cherish my friends and family and now at the end of the week yet another lesson to learn.

I have been so excited to give my husband his birthday presents. I have bought him three very nice gifts that were not cheap BUT as I realize today they weren't neccessary either. They were just frivolous gifts and truthfully the money could have been spent better in another fashion.

My sister-in-law has surgery today to remove her thryoid as her tumor came back positive for cancer. Her mom wanted to be with her so she had a friend drive her to Texas so that she could help her daughter. My father-inlaw is not heathly enought to travel so he had to stay behind in Kansas. We talked to him last night and found out that they had to borrow money against thier credit card And from a family friend in order to have enough money to get my mother in law out there. They live pay check to pay check and I have taught my boys that anytime they get a gift from them even that it was a sacrafice for them to be able to give that to them and so they should cherish it. It breaks my heart that they are at the point in thier lives when they should be able to slow down and enjoy it. They have thier kids raised and shouldn't have any problems. Life should be carefree. I am having a hard time even wanting to give my husband his gifts tonight because I realize now how silly they are. Expensive gifts don't show love it is what you do in your day to day life that really speaks volumes.

I wish my family would have asked us for money, I hate that they were to proud or didn't want to bother us, after all what is family for? If they hadn't spent money raising thier son, then my husband might not be here and neither would my family.

Anyhow, if you can afford nice things don't take it for granted because there are so many people that can't AND don't try to buy love, SHOW it.

God Bless.

Reflecting

Today I attended Rachel's funeral. As I have mentioned before I didn't know Rachel personally but her family's faith has been such a testimony to me as I followed her journey that I feel like I do. I can't imagine the pain that family is going through right now. I know there is a time where they are going to do something without realizing it and it will hit them hard-for example how many times will Annette pull down five plates instead of four for supper? I have really been reflecting on things this week. If I died what would people say about me? Right now I feel the only things they could say would be-she was a hard worker, that girl had some work ethic and boy was her house clean. What I would love for people to say is wow what a woman the world lost today, that woman would do anything for anyone. She loved her kids and her husband so much you could just feel it when you were in the same room. If you ever needed anything Lisa would find a way to help she knew how to get things done. I want my FAMILY to be so plugged into the church and so involved that if anything ever happened to any of my children that it would be noticable that they were gone. I want my family to give our time so freely to help others that if we ceased to exist that people would miss us.

I guess this has really put things into perspective for me as far as what is important in live and that is God, Family and friends. Work is a neccessity for me and i am blessed to have a great job that I love but in the whole scheme of things it isn't important. I want to reach out and help others, I want to stop being so selfish and hoarding my time. Chris Holoman spoke at the funeral today and he said you are not promised tomorrow. That has really made me reflect and put things into perspective.

Just something to think about......

God Bless

Just Relax a Little

What a weekend. Friday started off by finding out that Rachel Olerud had passed away.I was so sad to hear that as a parent I can't imagine the pain that they are going through. How do you learn to live without a piece of your family? The Smyrna Community seems to all have been affected. If you get on her caring bridge website the guestbook is filled with people that have followed her story and are saddened by the loss.

This weekend was very rainy and Conner had a game Friday night and then his team pictures got cancelled for Saturday so we just layed around. Anyone that knows me knows i don't just lay around. I have trouble just setting down to watch a movie because there is always something that needs dusted or a floor that needs moped or laundry that needs done. Saturday while I was up and down while attempting to watch a movie with Trey i asked him, Don't you feel bad just setting there watching this movie while i am working so hard? Trey in his 11 year old wisdom said No because you don't have to keep getting up it the house work is not going anywhere please just sit down. I don't know why I have such a hard time sitting down and just relaxing. I feel so lazy if I just sit, it is like I can't allow myself to just stop doing. I have thought alot about this this weekend and realized that Rachel's mom would probably do anything to just sit with her daughter and the truth of the matter is when our children are grown and gone or if anything would ever happen to our children it won't have mattered how clean the house was or if there were always clean clothes of if the floor was so clean you can eat off of it. What will matter will be the memories that you have shared, the moments when you just sat and soaked in the person in front of you the time when you just STOPPED and took in the moment. I find myself always looking ahead and not stopping so my goal is to work on just STOPPING for a little bit-like Trey said the laundrey, the dusting it is not going anywhere but every minute that passes takes a minute of my childrens childhood from me so today i am just STOPPING.

God Bless

Kind of puts things in perspective

Today was one of those days, it was stormy and rainy all day long. I got home and the wind had blown the trampoline over and it was laying against our new fence which must not have gotten concreted as well as it needed to because it was leaning over also. The kids were in rare form not wanting to listen and not minding very well. I went to cook dinner and the bread I had planned on using was molded, the steaks had trouble cooking because the wind kept blowing out the flame. My husband came home from work kind of grouchy which didn't help my mood improve at all. My youngest son had a melt down on the way to church which led to me screaming at him and then bargaining with him that I would pay him to go quietly to his class and THEN....I got to church and heard that Rachel Olreud (you can read her journal at www.caringbridge.rachelolreud.com I believe is the right address. She is a twelve year old girl that goes to our church and has cancer. I went to a prayer vigil for her last Sunday night and I found out tonight she is back in the hospital. Last week the Dr. told her parents they had two options either go home and enjoy the last of thier days with her or try some VERY experiemental treatments. Her parents let her choose-imagine having to have that conversation with your child. She chose to fight some more and try the experimental treatment. I found out today that she is back in the hospital and is not doing very well. This news saddens me as she has fought so hard and been such a source of inspiration to so many people and i can't imagine what her family is going through but it certainly put my "problems" into perspective-I guess my day wasn't so bad after all. For all of you that read my blog PLEASE pray for Rachel, her family her TWIN BROTHER, her teachers, her Dr.s and her friends. She has touched so many lives that this is difficult for alot of people on many different levels.

God Bless you.

Hold them just a little bit tighter

After coming home from the Dr. yesterday my husband and I went outside and jumped on the trampoline with my two boys and all the neighbor kids. My oldest son got mad because all the neighbors came over adn he didn't want to share us while my youngest son made a comment that this hardly ever happens-meaning mom never comes out to play. My husband is very good about getting out in the yard and wrestling with the kids or playing basketball or baseball but I admit I am not a very good "player". After this episode with Conner it has really hit me how quickly the time goes with our children. We work so hard to provide for them and give them the materialistic things they need and I have even worked hard to give them the spiritual guidance that they need, I have spent lots of money on fun filled vacations that have probably created some "STRESSFULL" memories for the kids but what have I done on a daily basis to let my kids know how much I love them and how great I think they are. I always tell them I love them because verbal communication is the love language that is easiest for me but I don't always back that up with an action that they can relate to. My oldest son likes to go to the gym with me and has told me that is something that he will always associate with time spent with me. I will not be so cool before long and it will be harder and harder to get my kids to stop and hang out with me as the time goes on. I am going to try very hard to remember that laundry can wait, dishes can wait, dinner can even wait but the time that I have to goof off with the kids and make silly memories for them to pass down to thier kids CAN'T wait.

God Bless

Check out my Slide Show!

Fear Not

What a weekend, my husband and I built a privacy fence going down one side of the yard. We worked so hard and did it all ourselves. He had me out there using the table saw and the recipracating saw. I had a blast working next to him all day and seeing what our team work could accomplish-the best thing is we didn't even get in one fight. The bad news is we were so into our work that we didn't go to church on Saturday and didn't get up to go on Sunday either. During Saturday night when we were dying Easter Eggs my youngest son came up and showed me how fast his heart was beating-I couldn't even keep up with it to count how many beats a second. This was the 4th episode like this so I decided to take him to the doctor. Sunday morning after not going to church I felt so guilty like maybe I didn't have the right to ask for healing for my son when I didn't even get up to go to church on Easter. Now I know God doesn't work like that but it was very hard for me to get past. I prayed all night Sunday that God would give me peace about the situation with my son. I took him to the Dr. and they have referred us to a Pediatric Cardiologist that we see on April 25th. After just listening to his heart and looking at the x-rays our medical doctor seems to think it is STV or something like that where the heart seems to just beat very rapidly for small increments of time. If this is all it is it can be treated. I know that God has a plan and that he knows the outcome and I am embarrassed to admit how panicky I got for awhile. I will keep you posted on the outcome.

God Bless

YOU'RE A BIG KID NOW

This weekend we were talking about Easter and my oldest son (11) said he hoped the Easter bunny brought him Guitar Hero and my youngest one said he hoped to get an Ipod. My comment back was that it was the Eater Bunny not Santa Claus. It struck me that even though my kids now the REAL meaning of Easter we don't talk about it as much at home or celebrate it. We let a fuzzy white bunny get all the credit. I have decided starting this year and going forward to put more emphasis on Jesus and what Easter really means to us. We will still hide eggs and have baskets but that won't be what the kids dwell on during this season. Going along with that I decided I needed to tell my 5th grader that there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. I kept waiting for him to come to me and ask me now that he is older but I guess after all the years of lying to him about the Easter Bunny and other fictional characters he had so much faith in my word that he never doubted it. I was afraid kids would make fun of him if he went to school next week talking about what the easter bunny brought him. I asked him last night if he really believed in the easter bunny and he said yes and I said well honey there is no such thing as the easter bunny it is mommy and daddy. He broke down crying. I have never seen his face fall so quickly, usually he is crying because he is hurt or mad but to see his face go from peaceful to hurt so quickly broke me. I felt like such a heel for always playing up the characters that surround the season. I explained to him he would still get to hunt eggs and would still get a basket and that he could help me hide them for his brother now. I think he is ok and is probably processing that there must not be a toothfairy or santa claus either. It struck me while I was holding him last night how quickly he is growing up but even more then that how quickly kids are forced or allowed to grow up these days. When I was in 5th grade I didn't have my own email account, cell phone, yahoo messanger, phone in my room. I didn't know half the things that he knows and it makes me wonder who's fault is that? I guess it is mine, we push our kids into adulthood way before they should have to go there. I also realized this would be just one of many times that I would see my child hurt as his reality suddenly changed underneath his feet.

When I became pregnant I heard all the stories about colic and diapers and potty training but noone ever prepared me for the way your heart can break for your child.

How did Jesus do it?

I was on my way to work today and was in a great mood. I was listening to my IPOD which is filled with Christian music and I was really feeling it when all of a sudden a car came flying through the one lane tunnel that I have to go through on my way to work and about hit me. Before I even thought about it I called them a name that I can't repeat here. Ironic how you can be so in the zone listening and praying and then something can happen to just throw you in the pit of Sin. It made me really think how in the world did Jesus do it? I can't make it an hour sometimes with out sinning how did he make it a lifetime? I think about the person in the car that was going so fast and almost hit me, I don't know what they were going through. Maybe they had a loved one at the hospital about to die. Maybe someone they knew had just been in an accident. Maybe they had been late to work so many times they had been told the next time you will be fired. Maybe they were on the way to see a child be born. The point is you don't know what others are going through so it is important to stop and think before you speak or judge. I am going to really work on this in this area of my life. On a side note was watching Oprah and saw the special on the paster from Kansas City that is mailing out free bracelets to try to promote a complain free world. I got on line and ordered 15 of them to hand out to family and friends maybe that will help me remember to count my blessings instead of complaining. Now here is a praise that is a blessing hidden in a trial...my sister-in-law has to go in and have a tumor on her neck removed and biopsied. That is the trial part the blessing is that when we were talking about it she disclosed that her and her husband have started attending church and are going to become members. It was evident that she had a strong faith and I was so excited to be able to talk to her about God and the amazing things he has done in my life. This was an area we had never discussed before. I told her maybe the blessing was that this would take our relationship to a new level that maybe we would grow closer as we each shared our walk with God with each other. Please keep her in your prayers...

God Bless

I am being tested

Maybe I should have gone to church Sunday because so far this week I have been being tested in several areas of my life. There is a person at work that is really pushing some buttons and I am letting them. Right now I feel like I could chew the person up and spit them out and then step on them. Harsh huh?? I prayed on the way to work this morning that I would have an attitude change about the person but then when I got to work I realized that maybe I didn't want to change. How is this for honesty?? I am sure I will regret being so honest on this post at some point in my life, just not right now. I remember Natalie and Sherry talking about how they have had people like this in thier lives in the past and how they ended up being good friends. I am not holding my breathe on that one and I am not sure I even would want this person as a friend BUT... I have decided to try to channel my energy into figuring out why GOD has put this person in my path. Maybe I will be pleasantly suprised...I will let you know.