Thursday, October 23, 2008

Another one??

Mikes family is being surrounded by trials right now. We got a call yesterday that his uncle passed away. I think anytime you experience a death of anyone it brings back many emotions of feelings you felt when others before them passed away. I don't want to blog about my husbands personal life but I do want to ask for prayer from you prayer warriors out there. He is having a very difficult time accepting that it is ok to grieve and thinks that he should be over it. I have tried to explain that there is never really any getting over it, days just get easier. I know that we are on a journey for this season and that God will see us thru it but for the first time in my life I guess I feel like God is growing us in a way that is not going to happen overnight. It seems like when I have had problems before there was always a time limit on when I would have an answer or it would be solved but this time I don't know when the end will be in sight. It could be 3 months, a year there is no telling how long this season of grieve will last. As a wife I have had a very hard time stepping back and giving my husband who is very private his space. I tend to want to talk out my problems and have trouble understanding that not everyone does this. I also feel like we have gone thru everything together during the last 14 years but during his fathers death I had to step away during times when I really wanted to be right by his side but knew that he needed the space more. I have never felt as close to him and yet so far apart at the same time. I never know what is in his mind anymore only that he isn't always with me when he is physically present his mind tends to be else where.

Death brings out so many things and I have also had to deal with some feelings that I had stuffed deep inside from when my grandmother died and I had to walk that journey all by myself without my husband and children by my side. I didn't get to immediately hug my children after telling them that thier grandmother died because I was in another state and so Mike told them. This bothers me that these emotions are coming out as this is not about me and not the right time for me to be feeling these things yet I can't help how I feel.

i need to go I have company but please pray for Mike and his family

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I feel like we haven't talked in forever, and I really don't like that. Do know that I am praying for you guys, though.

The bible does say "this too shall pass."--Unfortunately it doesn't say how long it will take.

I know that sometimes time limits help us tough things out, but I think your right on this one. You can't put a time limit on grief. We'll just keep on praying.