Prayer Request

First of all I have to comment on the slide show I posted of the Country Music Marathon. The little boy that I have the caption it looks like his prayers were answered, he is the son of Rhonda my running partner. My friend Kelly got a picture of him at the beginning of the race lined up at the start line and he was praying. I wish I had this picture to add to my slide show but I don't so I just had to tell you about it. Isn't that awesome that at such a young age he would be brave enough to pray in public when he didn't have anyone he knew with him. He is a different age then all the other boys so he had to run by himself and he did AWESOME.

Now for the prayer request. Conner's heart monitor came in the mail today and it is a little more cumbersome then we would like. Don't get me wrong it is pretty discreet for a grown up but for an eight year old boy that never stops moving it is kind of a pain. Conner already pulled two of the leads off and is complaining that the pager device is so heavy that it pulls down his pants. Please pray that if he is going to have any more episodes that he will hurry and have one. As soon as we get one recorded then he gets to stop wearing this device. If he doesn't have one this month he has to wear it for another month. This is the worst time of year to have it because Conner loves to run around outside w/out a shirt on but he won't do that with his monitor on. He is a little nervous about kids from school seeing it. So, that is my prayer that he will hurry up and have a rapid heart beat that we can get recorded and then we can go to the dr and have them tell us it is nothing at all. Please join me in this prayer.....God Bless

13.1

Well, it is finally over and I finished it. The country music marathon is now a thing of the past. I will post pictures of Trey and his friends doing the last mile of the kids marathon as well as pictures of my friends as we embarked on our journey of 13.1 miles at 4:30 in the morning as soon as I am able to walk up the stairs without crying out in pain with each step.

I owe my friend Rhonda a HUGE thank-you as I am sure she wanted to slap me more then once during the race. She did an incredible job, I am sure my whining probably encouraged her to move faster to get away from me. I was doing great until mile 6 when I started to develop a huge blister on the bottom of my foot. By mile 9 I wasn't able to run at all and really was not even wanting to walk it. I wanted to quit so bad and only my pride and Rhonda kept me from throwing in the towel. I was very disappointed in myself for the way I performed but I did learn a few things. NEVER change anything on race day. I wore a visor which I had never trained with and it squeezed my head and gave me a horrible headache and I changed out the headset I wore and it was very hot, I opted for the old fashioned head sets instead of my ipod earbuds because my earbuds sometimes caused me to have ear infections. I also stopped for water each time and I don't think I should have done that.

I have decided to get back on weight watchers and complete a three mile run at least three times a week with weight training on the other two days. I have allowed myself to eat whatever whenever for the last few years and while that has been fun the results are horrific. I can't believe it is me when I look in the mirror and see the shape I have allowed myself to get into. I am serious about it this time and although it may not be fun to do without my favorite foods I know the result will be well worth it. I will probably journal alot of this ride on my blog so be ready to cheer me on and cry with me when I need it.

God Bless

My Inspiring Walls by Skip Hicks

Home is where your story begins

I am so excited..my friends husband came over this evening and put up vinyl wall lettering that says Home is where your story begins. I have seen that saying so many times in different arts and crafts stores and always loved it as a novelty saying but not until tonight did I stop to think what that really means. Home....that is where it all begins. The traditions that you start as a newly married couple are traditions that you hand down to your children and you got them from your parents. We can trace everything back to our home and our family. Sometimes I wonder what things my children will take with them as they leave our home and start thier own. I know what memories I hold dear but perception is everything and each person holds different things close to thier heart. Unfortunately, sometimes it is not just wonderful memories that you take with you. We get a mix of the junk that seems to sneak into our bags as we leave home without us noticing it until much later in life. There are so many things I want to change about myself and I see my oldest son modeling so many of those nervouse, naratic behaviors and it just kills me. He wears his feelings on his sleeve and is so tender hearted. He puts so much pressure on himself to be perfect and I for one know what that pressue can do to a person. I guess that we just have to be honest with our children as they get older and let them see some of the things that we have struggled with in life and hope that we can help them learn through our experiences. Just a thought....

God Bless

PS. I will post a picture of the wall lettering and if you like it I will tell you where you can order it. I LOVE MY WALL....

Just be silly

We had our God's Girls Sunday School party on Saturday. I was debating on wether or not to go because I really don't do well in social settings. I had a friend that was going to go with me but she backed out at the last minute. I was really stressing about going and if I would fit in or feel comfortable-I kind of felt like I was back in highschool for a moment. I ended up going and it was nice to get to know some people better and on a different level. As I watched some of the ladies they seemed so comfortable just going up to people they didn't know and talking to them. They felt so comfortable in a house they had never been to. I don't know what makes me different or what makes me feel so different than other people. I have never felt like a grown up although the mirror tells me I am. People were dressing up in silly costumes and having a pretend fashion show and seemed to really like it. I would have been terrified. When my mom comes down to visit she always takes everyone to ride go carts-everyone has a great time but me. I sit on the sidelines and watch, my mom tells me I need to learn how to have fun. How is that learned I ask you and why did everyone else learn it but me? Just something to think about.

On a different note, the 13.1 marathon is this Saturday. Pray for Rhonda and I as we have been really working hard(well up until April and then like ding dongs we decided to take it easy.) That wasn't a concious decision but with ball, pms and scheduling conflicts that is what happened and I don't feel nearly as prepared as I felt a month ago.

God Bless

Don't take it for granted

Gosh, God is really working on me this week to strive to be a better person and to cherish my friends and family and now at the end of the week yet another lesson to learn.

I have been so excited to give my husband his birthday presents. I have bought him three very nice gifts that were not cheap BUT as I realize today they weren't neccessary either. They were just frivolous gifts and truthfully the money could have been spent better in another fashion.

My sister-in-law has surgery today to remove her thryoid as her tumor came back positive for cancer. Her mom wanted to be with her so she had a friend drive her to Texas so that she could help her daughter. My father-inlaw is not heathly enought to travel so he had to stay behind in Kansas. We talked to him last night and found out that they had to borrow money against thier credit card And from a family friend in order to have enough money to get my mother in law out there. They live pay check to pay check and I have taught my boys that anytime they get a gift from them even that it was a sacrafice for them to be able to give that to them and so they should cherish it. It breaks my heart that they are at the point in thier lives when they should be able to slow down and enjoy it. They have thier kids raised and shouldn't have any problems. Life should be carefree. I am having a hard time even wanting to give my husband his gifts tonight because I realize now how silly they are. Expensive gifts don't show love it is what you do in your day to day life that really speaks volumes.

I wish my family would have asked us for money, I hate that they were to proud or didn't want to bother us, after all what is family for? If they hadn't spent money raising thier son, then my husband might not be here and neither would my family.

Anyhow, if you can afford nice things don't take it for granted because there are so many people that can't AND don't try to buy love, SHOW it.

God Bless.

Reflecting

Today I attended Rachel's funeral. As I have mentioned before I didn't know Rachel personally but her family's faith has been such a testimony to me as I followed her journey that I feel like I do. I can't imagine the pain that family is going through right now. I know there is a time where they are going to do something without realizing it and it will hit them hard-for example how many times will Annette pull down five plates instead of four for supper? I have really been reflecting on things this week. If I died what would people say about me? Right now I feel the only things they could say would be-she was a hard worker, that girl had some work ethic and boy was her house clean. What I would love for people to say is wow what a woman the world lost today, that woman would do anything for anyone. She loved her kids and her husband so much you could just feel it when you were in the same room. If you ever needed anything Lisa would find a way to help she knew how to get things done. I want my FAMILY to be so plugged into the church and so involved that if anything ever happened to any of my children that it would be noticable that they were gone. I want my family to give our time so freely to help others that if we ceased to exist that people would miss us.

I guess this has really put things into perspective for me as far as what is important in live and that is God, Family and friends. Work is a neccessity for me and i am blessed to have a great job that I love but in the whole scheme of things it isn't important. I want to reach out and help others, I want to stop being so selfish and hoarding my time. Chris Holoman spoke at the funeral today and he said you are not promised tomorrow. That has really made me reflect and put things into perspective.

Just something to think about......

God Bless

Just Relax a Little

What a weekend. Friday started off by finding out that Rachel Olerud had passed away.I was so sad to hear that as a parent I can't imagine the pain that they are going through. How do you learn to live without a piece of your family? The Smyrna Community seems to all have been affected. If you get on her caring bridge website the guestbook is filled with people that have followed her story and are saddened by the loss.

This weekend was very rainy and Conner had a game Friday night and then his team pictures got cancelled for Saturday so we just layed around. Anyone that knows me knows i don't just lay around. I have trouble just setting down to watch a movie because there is always something that needs dusted or a floor that needs moped or laundry that needs done. Saturday while I was up and down while attempting to watch a movie with Trey i asked him, Don't you feel bad just setting there watching this movie while i am working so hard? Trey in his 11 year old wisdom said No because you don't have to keep getting up it the house work is not going anywhere please just sit down. I don't know why I have such a hard time sitting down and just relaxing. I feel so lazy if I just sit, it is like I can't allow myself to just stop doing. I have thought alot about this this weekend and realized that Rachel's mom would probably do anything to just sit with her daughter and the truth of the matter is when our children are grown and gone or if anything would ever happen to our children it won't have mattered how clean the house was or if there were always clean clothes of if the floor was so clean you can eat off of it. What will matter will be the memories that you have shared, the moments when you just sat and soaked in the person in front of you the time when you just STOPPED and took in the moment. I find myself always looking ahead and not stopping so my goal is to work on just STOPPING for a little bit-like Trey said the laundrey, the dusting it is not going anywhere but every minute that passes takes a minute of my childrens childhood from me so today i am just STOPPING.

God Bless

Kind of puts things in perspective

Today was one of those days, it was stormy and rainy all day long. I got home and the wind had blown the trampoline over and it was laying against our new fence which must not have gotten concreted as well as it needed to because it was leaning over also. The kids were in rare form not wanting to listen and not minding very well. I went to cook dinner and the bread I had planned on using was molded, the steaks had trouble cooking because the wind kept blowing out the flame. My husband came home from work kind of grouchy which didn't help my mood improve at all. My youngest son had a melt down on the way to church which led to me screaming at him and then bargaining with him that I would pay him to go quietly to his class and THEN....I got to church and heard that Rachel Olreud (you can read her journal at www.caringbridge.rachelolreud.com I believe is the right address. She is a twelve year old girl that goes to our church and has cancer. I went to a prayer vigil for her last Sunday night and I found out tonight she is back in the hospital. Last week the Dr. told her parents they had two options either go home and enjoy the last of thier days with her or try some VERY experiemental treatments. Her parents let her choose-imagine having to have that conversation with your child. She chose to fight some more and try the experimental treatment. I found out today that she is back in the hospital and is not doing very well. This news saddens me as she has fought so hard and been such a source of inspiration to so many people and i can't imagine what her family is going through but it certainly put my "problems" into perspective-I guess my day wasn't so bad after all. For all of you that read my blog PLEASE pray for Rachel, her family her TWIN BROTHER, her teachers, her Dr.s and her friends. She has touched so many lives that this is difficult for alot of people on many different levels.

God Bless you.

Hold them just a little bit tighter

After coming home from the Dr. yesterday my husband and I went outside and jumped on the trampoline with my two boys and all the neighbor kids. My oldest son got mad because all the neighbors came over adn he didn't want to share us while my youngest son made a comment that this hardly ever happens-meaning mom never comes out to play. My husband is very good about getting out in the yard and wrestling with the kids or playing basketball or baseball but I admit I am not a very good "player". After this episode with Conner it has really hit me how quickly the time goes with our children. We work so hard to provide for them and give them the materialistic things they need and I have even worked hard to give them the spiritual guidance that they need, I have spent lots of money on fun filled vacations that have probably created some "STRESSFULL" memories for the kids but what have I done on a daily basis to let my kids know how much I love them and how great I think they are. I always tell them I love them because verbal communication is the love language that is easiest for me but I don't always back that up with an action that they can relate to. My oldest son likes to go to the gym with me and has told me that is something that he will always associate with time spent with me. I will not be so cool before long and it will be harder and harder to get my kids to stop and hang out with me as the time goes on. I am going to try very hard to remember that laundry can wait, dishes can wait, dinner can even wait but the time that I have to goof off with the kids and make silly memories for them to pass down to thier kids CAN'T wait.

God Bless

Check out my Slide Show!

Fear Not

What a weekend, my husband and I built a privacy fence going down one side of the yard. We worked so hard and did it all ourselves. He had me out there using the table saw and the recipracating saw. I had a blast working next to him all day and seeing what our team work could accomplish-the best thing is we didn't even get in one fight. The bad news is we were so into our work that we didn't go to church on Saturday and didn't get up to go on Sunday either. During Saturday night when we were dying Easter Eggs my youngest son came up and showed me how fast his heart was beating-I couldn't even keep up with it to count how many beats a second. This was the 4th episode like this so I decided to take him to the doctor. Sunday morning after not going to church I felt so guilty like maybe I didn't have the right to ask for healing for my son when I didn't even get up to go to church on Easter. Now I know God doesn't work like that but it was very hard for me to get past. I prayed all night Sunday that God would give me peace about the situation with my son. I took him to the Dr. and they have referred us to a Pediatric Cardiologist that we see on April 25th. After just listening to his heart and looking at the x-rays our medical doctor seems to think it is STV or something like that where the heart seems to just beat very rapidly for small increments of time. If this is all it is it can be treated. I know that God has a plan and that he knows the outcome and I am embarrassed to admit how panicky I got for awhile. I will keep you posted on the outcome.

God Bless

YOU'RE A BIG KID NOW

This weekend we were talking about Easter and my oldest son (11) said he hoped the Easter bunny brought him Guitar Hero and my youngest one said he hoped to get an Ipod. My comment back was that it was the Eater Bunny not Santa Claus. It struck me that even though my kids now the REAL meaning of Easter we don't talk about it as much at home or celebrate it. We let a fuzzy white bunny get all the credit. I have decided starting this year and going forward to put more emphasis on Jesus and what Easter really means to us. We will still hide eggs and have baskets but that won't be what the kids dwell on during this season. Going along with that I decided I needed to tell my 5th grader that there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. I kept waiting for him to come to me and ask me now that he is older but I guess after all the years of lying to him about the Easter Bunny and other fictional characters he had so much faith in my word that he never doubted it. I was afraid kids would make fun of him if he went to school next week talking about what the easter bunny brought him. I asked him last night if he really believed in the easter bunny and he said yes and I said well honey there is no such thing as the easter bunny it is mommy and daddy. He broke down crying. I have never seen his face fall so quickly, usually he is crying because he is hurt or mad but to see his face go from peaceful to hurt so quickly broke me. I felt like such a heel for always playing up the characters that surround the season. I explained to him he would still get to hunt eggs and would still get a basket and that he could help me hide them for his brother now. I think he is ok and is probably processing that there must not be a toothfairy or santa claus either. It struck me while I was holding him last night how quickly he is growing up but even more then that how quickly kids are forced or allowed to grow up these days. When I was in 5th grade I didn't have my own email account, cell phone, yahoo messanger, phone in my room. I didn't know half the things that he knows and it makes me wonder who's fault is that? I guess it is mine, we push our kids into adulthood way before they should have to go there. I also realized this would be just one of many times that I would see my child hurt as his reality suddenly changed underneath his feet.

When I became pregnant I heard all the stories about colic and diapers and potty training but noone ever prepared me for the way your heart can break for your child.