Tuesday, April 3, 2007

YOU'RE A BIG KID NOW

This weekend we were talking about Easter and my oldest son (11) said he hoped the Easter bunny brought him Guitar Hero and my youngest one said he hoped to get an Ipod. My comment back was that it was the Eater Bunny not Santa Claus. It struck me that even though my kids now the REAL meaning of Easter we don't talk about it as much at home or celebrate it. We let a fuzzy white bunny get all the credit. I have decided starting this year and going forward to put more emphasis on Jesus and what Easter really means to us. We will still hide eggs and have baskets but that won't be what the kids dwell on during this season. Going along with that I decided I needed to tell my 5th grader that there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. I kept waiting for him to come to me and ask me now that he is older but I guess after all the years of lying to him about the Easter Bunny and other fictional characters he had so much faith in my word that he never doubted it. I was afraid kids would make fun of him if he went to school next week talking about what the easter bunny brought him. I asked him last night if he really believed in the easter bunny and he said yes and I said well honey there is no such thing as the easter bunny it is mommy and daddy. He broke down crying. I have never seen his face fall so quickly, usually he is crying because he is hurt or mad but to see his face go from peaceful to hurt so quickly broke me. I felt like such a heel for always playing up the characters that surround the season. I explained to him he would still get to hunt eggs and would still get a basket and that he could help me hide them for his brother now. I think he is ok and is probably processing that there must not be a toothfairy or santa claus either. It struck me while I was holding him last night how quickly he is growing up but even more then that how quickly kids are forced or allowed to grow up these days. When I was in 5th grade I didn't have my own email account, cell phone, yahoo messanger, phone in my room. I didn't know half the things that he knows and it makes me wonder who's fault is that? I guess it is mine, we push our kids into adulthood way before they should have to go there. I also realized this would be just one of many times that I would see my child hurt as his reality suddenly changed underneath his feet.

When I became pregnant I heard all the stories about colic and diapers and potty training but noone ever prepared me for the way your heart can break for your child.

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