Girls Night Out

This weekend we had girls night out at Church. I am a self proclaimed hermit and don't usually go to things like this but I am really trying to get out of my comfort zone and participate. I always have fun when I get out and do things like this it is just getting me out that is the hard part. I had a blast. I don't know when the last time I laughed so hard was. I realized how long it has been since I have had girl time. I mean I get to talk to JaNeil at work and I work out with Rhonda and I have my neighbors that I get to see but I never really get to do girly things with them. I realized today that I use to be very girly and use to always have on the stylish clothes and always had my hair and make up on. I use to wear jewlery and use to laught with the girls-that was all before marriage and children. I realized thinking back that the last time I really did those things was before I got married. Somewhere during the last few years my role changed to mother and wife and I forgot that I was a girl. You know I don't really mean I forgot that I was a girl but what I mean is that the ME time just got pushed to the back burner. I buy clothes at Walmart now so that the boys can have the newest fad, I don't get my nails done because the upkeep takes time and money, I am too tired to do my hair and make up and so i often leave the house in a fashion that would get me arrested by the fashion police if they ever saw me. I find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more because of the duties assigned to being a wife/mother, it doesn't seem fair that we get to stay inside and clean while my husband gets to play outside with the boys, it doesn't seem fair that when people are hungry the wife has to figure out what to feed them. I realize though that noone in my family puts that stress on me, they don't care if the house is dirty, they don't care if the clothes are clean they would rather have me and I think that I would rather have them IF I also had some time to myself. Sometimes I think that I get very resentful and so I stay inside and clean while everyone is having fun so that maybe, maybe someone will say poor Lisa however noone says it and that is because they know I am making a choice NOT to come outside and play. I find myself being short with my kids, I find myself being short with my husband and I really think that is because I have lost a sense of who I am, who God wired me to be. God made me feminine, God designed me to be a woman. I decided tonight that I would make a better mom and wife if I would tap into some of that femine side, besides that our bodies are our temples and God wants me to take better care of myself then I do. I am going to make an EFFORT to be a woman as equally as I am a wife and mother, I am going to work on this and see if it can help stregthen all of my relationships as well. Just something to think about.


God Bless