We just got back from Atlant this evening. Over all we had a great time. The room at the Hyatt that I scored for $90.00 was probably the nicest room we have ever stayed in. It even beat the Omni in San Diego. Trey and I didn't get to watch any of the Braves game as Tyler decided he wasn't going to sit still so Trey and I literally walked around the ball park with him the entire time. It was some good time spent with Trey. I am going to miss him next week while he is at camp.
About my last post. Mike and I have talked alot about this over the weekend and perhaps people have always loved me unconditionally for the most part. I think that most of the stipulations that I feel are put on me by me. I often think that if I could just be a better wife, if I was prettier, thinner, or if I was a better mom, perhaps more fun etc then the people closest to me would love me more. I don't think that is the case. I think that they love me for who I am and I just have to learn to love me...
I did pretty good all weekend until we got home tonight. I got stressed out at Walmart because Tyler was in rare form and then Conner lost the Red Box movie he had gotten he finally found it in a shelf in the store but it was a long trip to the store at 9:30 at night. I grabbed a candy bar on the way out and then got into the boys candy when we got home. I realized what I was doing and just tried to sit and relax. I have noticed that Mike has been helping out more lately this week and that we are communicating better as well.
I am trying to trust my body when my mind doesn't tell me that I am full. It is very uncomfortable for me to not be stuffed. I am trying to learn that I won't starve and that I can always have something else if I have to but to try to trust that the feeling of emptiness will go away if I have eaten a well balanced meal. I have always felt like I needed to eat everything in case we ran out of food or something happened. I honestly start to panic when I get hungry-it is not a feeling I am comfortable with at all.
I am praying that my insurance will contine to let me stay in outpatient. I thought it was all taken care of but this weekend I got a letter that they only approved six visits. I am enrolled in the program for six weeks. I guess I will just pray that they will work it out.
Need to get to bed just wanted to post
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