Love on your kids Mondays.

Not sure why but lately I have been feeling very sentimental. Maybe it is because Tyler will be celebrating his 1 year birthday in less than a month. Maybe it is because Trey will be an Eigth grader next year or perhaps because Conner will be in his last year of elementary school next year. I am not sure of the reason but as I sit here and type this Tyler is upstairs napping. I look at that little boy and I could just cry. He brings out so much emotion in me and I love him to pieces. I look at Trey and Conner and am so proud of the men that they are becoming. Conner has a true love for God in his heart that keeps me accountable when I don't want to get out of bed to go to church and for that I am thankful. Trey is so considerate of others and has a heart full of compassion. I will be blessed if Tyler turns out half as good as these two boys. I have a neighbor that is the middle of adopting. Her journey has yet to assign her a child but God knows who she is. I am praying for her to have a name and a face. I think I am as excited for her to bring home her baby as she is. Well, probably not..but maybe a close second or third. I think when you wait awhile to have another child you cherish it more. You know how fragile those moments are and you don't rush them like you do with your older children. I am praying for all the babies that don't have mammas. Every time Tyler raises his arms up for me to hold him it makes me think of the babies that don't know that if they raise thier hands up someone will come. Sure they have care takers but noone that is soley thiers. Noone that will be there for them for the rest of thier lives. It breaks my heart knowing that those kids will never know the smile that a mother can bring to thier face. That they will never have a mother to read them a bed time story. You get the point. I am not sure why God has put this on my heart and I have basically begged him to remove it from my heart. I will be honest. This is not a road I want to go down right now. I don't want to adopt. I don't want another baby right now. Financially we are doing better than ever before and our house is full. I can't stop the feeling though that there is a reason that I am feeling this way. Maybe I am meant to go on a mission trip and visit the kids? Only God knows the reason. I do ask that you pray for the orphans though and pray for my friend Kelly as she might know something a little more concrete with in the next two weeks.