On the way to freedom

I had my first counseling session yesterday and I know without a doubt that I am on my way to freedom. My counselor in the first hour was able to say some things that made so much sense to me. She explained how I self destruct with food. We don't know the reason that I do that yet but I know that we will figure it out before the journey is over. One thing she told me is that I am afraid to say what I need to say because of the consequences. So instead I eat to stuff the words I want to say deep down inside. Boy just her saying that defined so many of the relationships that I have with people in my life. She hit the nail right on the head. I think even as a child I wanted so badly to tell the people that hurt me by thier alcoholisim or abandonment just how bad they hurt me or how mad I was or embarrassed I was by them but I was afraid to because the bottom line was they were my caretakers and if I made them mad who would take care of me?

It is truly amazing the way that our past can shape who we are but only we have the ability to change it and I firmly believe that change is possible.

I just had a moment to blog but wanted to get that partial thought out there :)