How did Jesus do it?

I was on my way to work today and was in a great mood. I was listening to my IPOD which is filled with Christian music and I was really feeling it when all of a sudden a car came flying through the one lane tunnel that I have to go through on my way to work and about hit me. Before I even thought about it I called them a name that I can't repeat here. Ironic how you can be so in the zone listening and praying and then something can happen to just throw you in the pit of Sin. It made me really think how in the world did Jesus do it? I can't make it an hour sometimes with out sinning how did he make it a lifetime? I think about the person in the car that was going so fast and almost hit me, I don't know what they were going through. Maybe they had a loved one at the hospital about to die. Maybe someone they knew had just been in an accident. Maybe they had been late to work so many times they had been told the next time you will be fired. Maybe they were on the way to see a child be born. The point is you don't know what others are going through so it is important to stop and think before you speak or judge. I am going to really work on this in this area of my life. On a side note was watching Oprah and saw the special on the paster from Kansas City that is mailing out free bracelets to try to promote a complain free world. I got on line and ordered 15 of them to hand out to family and friends maybe that will help me remember to count my blessings instead of complaining. Now here is a praise that is a blessing hidden in a trial...my sister-in-law has to go in and have a tumor on her neck removed and biopsied. That is the trial part the blessing is that when we were talking about it she disclosed that her and her husband have started attending church and are going to become members. It was evident that she had a strong faith and I was so excited to be able to talk to her about God and the amazing things he has done in my life. This was an area we had never discussed before. I told her maybe the blessing was that this would take our relationship to a new level that maybe we would grow closer as we each shared our walk with God with each other. Please keep her in your prayers...

God Bless

I am being tested

Maybe I should have gone to church Sunday because so far this week I have been being tested in several areas of my life. There is a person at work that is really pushing some buttons and I am letting them. Right now I feel like I could chew the person up and spit them out and then step on them. Harsh huh?? I prayed on the way to work this morning that I would have an attitude change about the person but then when I got to work I realized that maybe I didn't want to change. How is this for honesty?? I am sure I will regret being so honest on this post at some point in my life, just not right now. I remember Natalie and Sherry talking about how they have had people like this in thier lives in the past and how they ended up being good friends. I am not holding my breathe on that one and I am not sure I even would want this person as a friend BUT... I have decided to try to channel my energy into figuring out why GOD has put this person in my path. Maybe I will be pleasantly suprised...I will let you know.

Calgon take me away...far away

Today is definately a Calgon day and wouldn't you know it I have no Calgon-go figure....My boys were wound up all day and night. My nerves are shot and I decided I better blog in order to calm down some. I don't know what has gotten into my youngest one over the last couple of weeks but he definately is under the misconception that he is in charge and not me. I had to set him straight more than once tonight and that was about ten times to many. It is on nights like this that I have to go back to the day that they were born and remember how happy I was when I first saw them and how much I loved them right from the start. I am convinced that God made them come out not talking and walking, not really doing much of anything besides sleeping and looking precious. By the time that you figure out that they aren't really sweet, cute and nice all the time it is to late you already love them and don't want to send them back. I know that there are many people out there that can't have children and that I need to count my blessings but it is nights like tonight that I want to volunteer my children to that childless couple ( Only because I know they would get to know them and send then right back to me) Thank-you God for giving me children even though they test me, drive me nuts and turn my hair gray I am convinced my life is better with them in it.

God Bless you.

Kansas Fun

What A Great Weekend

This has been a wonderful weekend. I got up Saturday and went running with my friend Rhonda and we were able to go 7 Miles. That was so empowering to see that we can do this after all. I came home and picked my son up from his friends house where he had the best time getting dirty, stinky and just being a boy. They have a creek and now he is begging me to make a creek in our backyard, I can't quite get him to understand that it is not that easy. Conner had a baseball game so we watched that last night and then came home and grilled out. We sat on our deck and just enjoyed our family before heading over to our neigbhors to enjoy ice cream sundaes with them all and enjoy time with friends. It is now Sunday morning and I went out on our deck and ate breakfast and watched the birds bathe in the pool and listened to all that God has created. I did make the poor decision not to go to church today, I was being very selfish by wanting to lay in bed a little longer and enjoy all of the beautiful day. I realized it was the wrong decision when my youngest was upset that we weren't going to church. I had to explain to him that I had made a bad decision, I told him that I didn't want to miss a minute of this beautiful day outside. He was upset that we weren't going. God has given me the right type of kids to keep me accountable :)I promised him we would go on Wed and the following Sunday.

Motivate Me....

The first thing I have to say is that I have the best kids in the world.( I am blogging this so I can remember next time I am frusturated with them) My neigbor took them to the Zoo yesterday and instead of getting something for himself as a souveinor my oldest son brought me home a bracelet. So here I am all dressed up for work and I have on my new bracelet with blue elephants all over it :) Isn't that great??

I ran last night with my friend and we went a total of 5 miles. We both have been getting a little discouraged with the progress that we are making but as I told her last night we started out planning on walking the half-marathon so ANY running we do is just a plus and I NEVER thought I would be able to run 5 miles when we started this training anyhow. After I got off the phone with her it hit me that it is so much easier to motivate others, be kind to others and even forgive others then it is to do these things for yourself. I don't know how many times in my life I have made a mistake and then beat myself up over it forever. In retrospect if someone else had made the same mistake I wouldn't have given it another thought. It is so much easier for me to encourage others and get them pumped up and believing in themselves then it is for me to do that for myself. I don't know why that is. I am going to start being as nice to myself and encouraging myself as much as I do to others and we will see what happens. I guess I should have said I would TRY to do this.

God Bless you

Why are you so nice to me?

I am not deserving of the husband I have. I came home from work today and was soooo grouchy. We got back from KS late last night and I needed to go to the store but I didn't so therefore I had nothing to eat for breakfast or lunch today, I am PMSing and I am very tired. My wonderful, kind husband stayed home with the kids today since they are on spring break and went grocery shopping for me but wasn't able to find everything on my list. I came home from work and was so grouchy, I was complaining about the new roof that was put on while we were out of town, bitching because he didn't get everything on my list and feeling completely sorry for myself because I had to come home and iron clothes. I went into my closet and tried to cry but the tears wouldn't come, I prayed out to God that he would help change my attitude, even though I don't know if I really wanted him to because I was kind of enjoying feeling sorry for myself. My husband came in and held out his arms and told me that he was sorry that I was tired or had a bad day at work. I busted out crying and told him that I wasn't tired and I didn't have a bad day at work but that I really missed my grandmother, I was hungry, PMSing and was feeling sorry for myself. I told him I was sorry and I didn't mean to be so mean to him and he said I know you don't and just held me while I cried. I am so blessed to have this man in my life and I wanted to blog about it so the next time he drives me crazy and I want to scream I can maybe remember to read this blog and realize how lucky I am. I often wonder why it is so easy to treat him so poorly. I would never treat someone at work that way and I would never treat any of my friends like that yet this man who would stick up for me even if I wasn't in the right and loves me just where I am is the one that I dump on the most. He really could teach me a thing or to about love. I love that he knows me so well that I can take off all the masks and he meets me where I am in my life and loves me there. We all need someone like him in our lifes. Thank-you God for giving him to me.

God Bless you

Its a process

Well we made it to Kansas. I am sitting here in what now is just my Grandpa's house. I didn't expect to miss my grandmother so much when I got here but my heart is breaking. I keep thinking that she will peek around the corner or something but she won't ever peep around a corner here again. I guess it is a process that one has to go through. It is so hard watching my children here at this house because I can tell they miss her also and I am trying so hard to be brave for them when all I want to do is find a corner and cry. I don't understand how you can have someone in your life for so long and then they not be there. I know that she is not hurting anymore but I sure wish that she was here. It is amazing how the absence of one person can change the feel of a house, I guess that is what it does it makes your home feel like a house. I keep thinking that I should not be sad as it has almost been a month since she died but I decided tonight that it is a process and that it will just take some time. I love you Grandma and I thank-you for everything you did for my family and for taking Mike in and treating him like he was one of your own and how good you were to my boys, you sure are missed....

Patience is NOT MY virtue

Here it is 3:43 in the afternoon. At 4:10 I am supposed to print out boarding passes to fly to Kansas to visit my grandpa who lost his wife in February and to vist my other Grandma and help my mother-inlaw celebrate her birthday. Problem is my son is still running a fever. It is only 100 degrees but that is still a fever and I can't risk making anyone back in KS sick. Sometimes, most of the time Patience is not my virtue. I prayed that God would make it clear to me if we should go or not and so far no lightning bolt has struck me so I am not sure if he got the message to send me a message. I think about Amy and Pat Hood and how they have waited two years to see the face of the baby girl they are adopting from China-now that is patience. Patience I don't have. I guess I will print out the boarding passes and just wait and see what God has planned for us. (I still wish he would send me a sign :)) of course he has sent me signs before that I chose to ignore because it wasn't really the answer I wanted. Do you ever do that? Pray to God for an answer and then reject the answer that he gives you. I find myself wanting to make deals w/ God all of the time. I remember one time I wanted a Starbucks Frappacino but I knew it was not healthy. I told God that if the light turned Red before I got to it I wouldn't go, the light was red so then I told him if it was busy I wouldn't stop. It was busy but I decided to go anyhow. When I got to the window I ordered and pulled forward. When I got my order I drove off and realized it was not what I ordered I had orded a icy coffee drink w/ whip cream and carmel what I got instead was straight coffee. I hate straight coffee. I ended up throwing it away, guess I shouldn't have tried to reason with God and I guess I should have learned a lesson....

God Bless

Did you pray??

Ok, here it is 10:30 on Tuesday morning and so far I have eaten-I can't belive I am about to do a public confession post but here it goes-I have eaten just since 6:00 this morning-5 Tag Along Girl Scout Cookies, 3 French toast sticks, a king size bag of Cadbury Chocolate easter candy, A mini carton of Easter Robin eggs candy and a 100 calorie pack of short bread cookies. My son has the flu and I am home with him today. My nerves have definately got the best of me today. As much as I would love to be a stay at home mom, I don't make a good working mom that has to stay at home. I feel to guilty about being home when I should be at work-funny because when I am at work and my kids are out of school I feel guilty because I am at work and not at home. I named this Blog DID YOU PRAY for a reason. Sunday night my son started to get sick I in my typical fashion (for a person who has so much faith I sure do like to worry, I think because that is in my comfort zone) I started worrying saying I can't miss work and we are flying to KS this week so you have to get better we need to pray. I prayed with both my children and by myself that God would heal whatever it was that my oldest child had so that he would not be sick, I wouldn't have to miss work and we could make our flight on Thursday. We woke up Monday morning and he was still sick and had a fever. I was trying to be funny and said Well, did you not pray?? My poor sick son just looked at me like gosh mom, kick me when I am down and I realized then that not only was I not funny but how careful you have to be when you are speaking to children or even non christians about God. I could have made him think well God didn't answer my prayer so why bother or God doesn't like me or he would have answered my prayer. I did tell him when I realized what I had done that sometimes God has different plans for us and we just have to go along for the ride and wait and see what is waiting for us at the destination point. I am sure now that he wishes he was at the destiantion point of this flu because he has a fever of 102, chills, coughing and all the other lovely syptoms that accompany the dreaded flu. I do know that when he gets better I will explain more about prayer and how it is God's will and not ours and that sometimes we should thank-God for unanswered prayers. Until then, I will just try to keep my foot out of my mouth.

God Bless you

Running, running and more running

Today I got back on schedule with my training for the Country Music 1/2 Marathon. I hadn't been running as much the last two weeks because of being out of town. I have a great running partner and we are able to motivate each other. It is funny how God puts people in your life to benefit you years down the road. I met Rhonda many years ago through baseball and the kids schools. I would have never guessed that we would be training for the marathon together. I don't exactly run and I don't walk so I have officially named what I do "Wogging" it is faster than a walk and slower than a run. Today we wogged 4 miles non stop and then between our warm up and cool down it was 1/2 a mile so that total was 4.5 miles. I am so proud of us and so thank-ful that God has given us the determination to keep going. I find myself praying more during my wogs then I do probably during the whole rest of the day. I have to pray in order to get through it. It is funny, I am always critical about different parts of my body and wishing that I was built different but today Rhonda and I were talking and I realized how lucky I am that God has given me legs, arms and lungs that work so that I am able to wog. Sometimes I take things like this for granted and I was thankful for the reminder.

God Bless

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Practice what you preach, a good lesson in humility

Have you ever thought about what a great gift each morning God gives us is? It is like a brand new start, a new piece of paper to rewrite the wrongs of the day before. I had never thought about this until this morning. I am a morning person but that is also the busiest time of the day at our house. It is hard enough to get yourself up and out the door but add two kids that don't like to wake up and breakfast that has to be made, dogs that have to be let out and a husband to that mix and it is very hard to get out the door with a positive attitude. I didn't practice what I preach. I was trying to figure out how to get a child to the dentist and baseball practice all at the same time and was running late. My husband told me I looked nice today and not to get all stressed out about it and do you think I could have said thank-you for complimenting me or anything kind to him at that moment? You are right, I could have but did I NO??? I just ran out the door mumbling and complaining. I have prayed for my family to all be Christ Followers for longer than I can remember yet I have to ask myself when they see me acting this way-grouchy and not very nice to them WHY in the world would they want to be a Christ Follower. My family are Christians but the thought just came to mind that sometimes there are Non Christians that are actually nicer then Christians-now that could be a whole different blog.
I started to start this blog out by saying I ruined my brand new day that God gave me but as I sat here I realized that we are all forgiven if we ask forgiveness. Wow what a great gift that is. Now if my family could just forgive me as easily as God does.

God Bless

People don't change people

Here is my thought for the day. People don't change people prayer changes people. I have been reading The Power of a Praying Wife-this book is truly life changing. The funny thing is we all know to pray but sometimes we just don't pray. For so long I thought I could change my husband to make him the person I wanted him to be. (There was nothing wrong with him, I just wanted to fine tune him, customize him if you will). I wanted more affection, what woman doesn't? In his mind he knew he loved me and that should be enough for me as well. I did know he loved me and I knew we had a good relationship but I just felt like it wasn't the relationship that God had in mind for us. I didn't want to settle for good, I wanted great. For 15 plus years I have tried to manipulate and mold this man into someone that I thought he should be. After reading this book and doing some bible studies on journaling and prayer I started praying and I stopped expecting things. Let me tell you, I felt a stirring inside me and I know I have been changing. I have a long way to go but since I have stopped focusing all my energy on changing him and focused it on God and prayer I have become a better person. I asked my husband after church last night if he had noticed a difference in our relationship since January he said yes that I was happier and I was't so mean. Boy did that hit me where it hurt but I knew it was the truth. Before when he didn't respond to my attempts to change him I would get angry and bitter and jealous of those around me that seemed to have the relationship I wanted. Now that I appreciate my husband and am not nagging all the time I have started focusing that energy into being nicer to him, to really listening to him, really wanting to be with him. The funny thing is...he has changed. He is so much more affectionate and kind to me as well. I feel like we have rediscovered the flirtation and the desire we had for each other 15 years ago when we started courting each other. We have fallen in love with each other all over again. So...if there is someone in your life that you are trying to change..STOP it is wasted energy. Instead turn your focus to God and prayer and I bet you will see that you will change and as you do the person will respond differently to you as well.

God Bless You.

Love Them Where They Are

I didn't realize when I started this blogging thing the pressure of having something profound to say. I almost didn't blog today because I felt I had nothing to offer, but after a quick word of prayer I have decided to share something after all. A co-worker and I were talking yesterday about how hard it is to talk about God openly at work with people that you aren't sure are Christians. I think sometimes we surround ourselves with people we know are Christians and have the same beliefs as us because it is easier. If there is someone you know in your life that is doing something that is not pleasing to God I think you have a responsibility to invest in that person. I am not saying be judgemental because WE ALL sin, and I believe that one sin is just as bad as the other. What I am saying is even though Christians need our love and our support I think non christians need it just as much if not more. As we talked about at church the other week look who Jesus hung out with...the prostitutes, the cheaters, the liers, those are the people that he brought to Christ. Our Sunday School teacher says that if you know someone is doing something unpleasing to God that you have a right to make sure they know you don't condone it-No finger pointing please and only if you are asked for an opionin, but if you are asked then you have to be honest and boy is that hard. We are so afraid that we might offend someone that we shy away from sharing God's word. I am so preaching to myself here and have found that really that is what this blogging thing is all about-personal growth. I am not trying to come off high and mighty here, I am simply trying to speak it and hoping that my actions will follow. Bottom line is you have to LOVE people WHERE THEY ARE not where YOU want them to be. I think that is a very important lesson for us all as I know that I have spent many wasted years trying to change others instead of investing in them.

God Bless.

God is good even in hard times

As many of you know I went home Friday the 23rd to visit with my grandmother that had been given a month to two months to live. I was terrified to go back as I had left Kansas for many reasons. I was so afraid that my grandmother wasn’t saved and wasn’t sure how to approach it with her. I didn’t know what to say to someone that knew they were dying. I had only been away from my husband and my children one other time and was terrified to leave them. Friday morning I got to the airport at 4:45AM and was crying so hard I couldn’t even self check my luggage. Thank God for the lady at the counter who came around and helped me complete the transaction. I had never been afraid to fly before I had children but have to admit I was terrified to get on the plane and the thought of switching planes in Memphis was overwhelming to me. When the time came to board the plane I knew that God had me in his hands as I got behind the kindest lady. She must have known I was nervous because she made small talk with me-of course I couldn’t talk back for fear of bawling. When we got on the plane she offered me a blanket and helped me find my seat-which was next to another Christian woman on her way to Africa. When the flight ended I leaned over the seat and told the first lady that God had sent her to me today because I was on my way to say goodbye to my grandmother and was having trouble starting the Journey. Later on as I was waiting for my second flight I saw the lady that was going to Africa and she got my attention and said God bless you my child. (Could God have been anymore clear that he was with me?) For whatever reason I refused to lean on God and had a meltdown in the Memphis airport. Let me tell you there is no place to be alone in an airport. I went into every bathroom I could find and everyone was occupied. I called two good friends and told them I couldn’t get on the plane in Memphis that I was going to just stay at the airport, physically I was having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other at this point. There was a man that kept glancing over at me I am sure he wondered what in the world was going on and guess what? He ended up sitting next to me on the plane to KS. POOR MAN. The stewardess on this flight saw me reading Power of a praying wife and she stopped and talked to me for about 10minutes about what a great book and the power of prayer. (keep in mind this was in the aisle in the middle of the flight)

When I got to KS I was terrified to go into the Hopice Hospital, I had never been around someone dying and hated that it was my grandmother going through this. I had prayed before I got to KS that God would give me strength to face my father, that God would make it financially accessible for me to visit w/ my grandmother before her death and to be able to go back for the funeral and that my grandmother would die peacefully when the time came in her sleep. I stepped into the hospital and felt God’s strength once again. I was able to let my Grandmother know I was there and to help ease her pain. Saturday morning she grabbed my grandfather while I was there and told him he needed to prepare and he told her it was ok to let go that their daughter was waiting in heaven and that they would be together forever. I felt God take my hand and I prayed over my grandmother out loud that God could just go ahead and take her, I prayed that she would have the peace of knowing that we would all be ok and that my grandfather would feel God’s strength in my grandmothers passing. (I never thought I would be praying over her for her to die) When I was done my grandmother looked up at me and said Lisa the problem is your grandpa needs to much. I assured her that we would take care of him. Those were the last meaningful words I spoke to her as she fell asleep and she never really regained full consciousness before passing the next morning. Part of me hated to be there and have to go through that but at the same time I am so blessed to witness my Grandfathers unselfless love for my Grandmother that he could let her go so she wouldn’t be in any pain.

God answered all of my prayers, I was there already so I was able to stay longer and not have to pay for another flight back, I have a wonderful job and they allowed me to be gone longer, My grandmother went very peacefully and I got to see a side of my father that I had never seen before. My father is an alcoholic and he had so much regret, seeing him lay over his mother after she had passed gave me some compassion for him that I had not had before. I had let go of the anger towards my father along time ago but now I truly see how broken he is and although I have been praying for him out of duty or respect if you will, NOW, I truly want to pray for him and want to be a support system for him. My cousin that is 5 weeks pregnant was waiting until interstate 70 opened in order to be able to drive from Colorado, it opened shortly after my grandmother died and she was able to make it to the funeral. I had been asking God to make sure she was able to come for the funeral because I know that is important for closure and I wanted her to be able to have that closure. God orchestrated it so that all of us grandkids who are currently scattered all over the United States were able to come back and grieve my grandmothers death together. He had to work some pretty big miracles for some of us to get back there but he did that for our family. After talking to the paster, I found out that my Grandmother was saved and I was able to speak at her funeral and read a poem that I had found that I thought was fitting.

I was able to reconnect with some family members that I had not been around in years and it made me realize how important family is and how we need to take time to INVEST in one another, God choose your exact family members for some reason. I once read that sometimes the most unloveable family members are the ones that you need to love on the most. Not that any of these family members were unloveable but that thought just came to mind and I have learned when God puts something on my heart to share it is for a reason.

God was just as good to me on the way back, I sat next to a wonderful woman during the first flight which was during all the storms on Thursday so it was a little bumpy. I got into Memphis at 5:40 and my plane was delayed several times so it didn’t take off until 11:00PM that night. When we got on the tiny plane they made an announcement that the plane was to heavy to take off so they needed two volunteers to go to the back of the plane (I was so nervous after hearing that announcement) The woman next to me started talking and she was a Christian and led a Sunday school class of teenagers in her church. The flight was so peaceful as we talked about Christ the whole time.

I got into the airport and there were was my husband and my two boys with flowers waiting on me. I got back to work today and read all the prayer requests from my Sunday School class and my heart just aches for everyone. I am obviously devastated that my grandmother is gone and really haven’t grieved yet but at the same time I find it hard to be sad because I saw God’s fingerprints all over it every step of the way. There was so much more that took place during this past week that one day I will be able to share. I just felt the need to share this now to let everyone who is going through things right now know that God may not take away the tears or the sorrow but he is ALWAYS there and if you look hard enough you will find him in the hard times just like I did. I just pray for everyone what is going thru something in their lives right now that is a struggle that you will feel God’s peace and feel so peaceful that you are confused by it. I just want everyone to know that God is there and is always there you just have to listen and you will know he cares for you and he loves you.

God Bless you all.